Bearded

When someone gently touches your vagina, but does not finger you.

"Did he beard you"
"Yes he bearded me!"

"I really want him to beard me!"

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bearding

v. The act of growing a beard.

Ignorant non-bearded co-worker: "Dude, seriously - what the hell is wrong with your face?"

Cool hip bearded employee: "I'm bearding this month and would appreciate it if you went and pissed up a rope!"

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bearded

When someone tops a story that you just told.

Me: Last night i drank like 30 beers

Bearder: Ya well i gottta buddy who drinks 30 beers per meal.

Other guy: dude, you just got bearded.

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Beard

He’s the strong and silent type, is Beardy. Don’t get him angry, though. Very loyal. Definitely a bonus to have him on your side in a fight, I can tell ya. But, really, don’t make him angry! He’ll get all up in your grill and lay down a shockingly filth-laden tirade right out in public. He once told me to, and I quote, “...go get Ape-Raped until you’re rendered into a fuck-stew of effluence and hate...”

And people argue that beards can’t talk!

“I just got beard-slapped by that beard attached to that guy over there.”

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Bearding

The act in which two men rub their beards together. This is most commonly done after slaying a ninja.

Matt: Hey, Jon! Did you just slay that ninja?

Jon: Yeah. Want to beard?

Matt:Of course. Bearding always follows slaying a ninja.

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The Beard

A facial accessory that instantly makes its bearer infinitely more metal and manly. This is especially true if one has had a beard since very early, ie. since they were thirteen. Beards tend to house hidden limbs and perhaps have a life of their own. The most famous example of this caliber of facial hair is Chuck Norris.

Don't fuck with Rob, he's had the beard since he was thirteen. It doesn't matter what music he plays, it's more metal than you. Always.

His beard goes clubbing every night after he goes to sleep and comes back in the morning to wake him up.

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beard

Beards are definately cool. Whether you have a beard or not, respect the power of the beard, think of how many different types of people have a beard. I dont like steriotyping but, Stoners, Moshers, Gangsters, Skaters, Bikers, Pimps, the list goes on. Everyone loves a beard and if you get it right it looks smart as fuck.

Bill Bailey - 'My eventual aim is to grow my beard, plat it into my pubes and play it like a harp'

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