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a young man, who is short, fat, ugly, had black curly hair, resembles a whale but is human, tends to lay on the beach as if he is washed up on shore and responds to the name ZG.
wow, did you see beached whale today?
No. but his mom june was looking pretty fine.
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when flushing a huge log the water swirls down into the hole, but the poo does not....leaving the log "beached" on the bottom of the bowl
" i dropped a giant deucer this morning and left a beached whale"
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The beached whale is a term given for a fat or otherwise unattractive person that hits on you at a bar or club and, despite your disinterest or general disgust, this person will try multiple attempts on you, and follow you around.
"i was out last night and this whale totally beached on me."
or
"where were you? there's two hotties wanting to buy us drinks."
"ugh, sorry. beached whale wouldnt get off me."
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A girl/boy that thinks they are so skinny and popular when in reality everybody hates them and they are so fat and annoying.
"Omg Gretchen is so fat and annoying i feel so bad for her."
"Omg ik shes such a beached whale."
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A beached whale is made by turning off the water to someone's toilet, then flushing the toilet so that the bowl is devoid of water, then taking a shit.
Andrew was a terrible party host, so I left him a beached whale.
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N. The ultimate in the range of awkward items or animals. An individual intending to correctly execute an awkward beached whale should lie face down on the ground and thrash their legs whilst pressed together as an impersonation of a whale's flipper. Then while doing this, the individual should rock from side to side whilst helplessly hitting the ground directly to their side with limp arms. The awkward beached whale is most successfully executed by lying on a floor, but it can also be executed on a table or chair.
Awkward beached whale should be used to best affect at a time of severe awkwardness which should be enough to break the ice of any situation.
*WARNING* AWKWARD BEACHED WHALE SHOULD NOT BE ATTAMPTED AT ANY INAPPROPRIATE AWKWARD TIMES SUCH AS IN A CHURCH OR IN A PROM DRESS OR TUXEDO. IT WILL CONSIDERABLY MAKE THE SITUATION MORE AWKWARD AND CAUSE PEOPLE TO TAKE OFFENCE !!!
1) Perfect time to do awkward beached whale.
(In a room where the atmosphere is unbearably awkward)
Person 1: "wow this is so awkward"
(does an awkward beached whale as directed above)
Person 2: wow who is that crazy man ?
Person 3: "It's an awkward beached whale !"
Person 2: "haha that's hilarious"
Multiple people laugh and awkwardness stops.
2) Wrong time for an awkward beached whale.
(At a formal occassion where the atmosphere is unbearably awkward)
Person 1: "wow this is so awkward"
(does an awkward beached whale as directed above)
Person 2: (silence)
Person 3: (silence)
Person 2: (silence)
Awkwardness increases and people ignore the individual who feels even more awkward for increasing the awkwardness and for messing up his/her formal clothes.
a shit that is so large part of it sticks out of the water in the toilet bowl
"Wow dude i just packed a lip and dropped a nice beached whale in that bathroom."
"Shit that must have been huge!"
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