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Beached: short for beached whale; is a person known for excessive lying, obviously untrue and arrogant statements (i.e. 'I'm just one of those people that's good at everything'), and general beachedness. They will lie upon the beach of life for eternity.
Why does that kid suck at everything?' 'Don't mind him he's just beached as shit.
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1. A term used to describe someone that is naive or delusional, while outwardly arrogant and self-assured. Because of this unwarranted self-assuredness, people who are beached fail to recognize their flaws. Essentially, they will forever lie on the beach of life.
2. Also used to describe douches in general; specifically the unnecessary douchey acts they commit.
1. Speaker 1: "Does that kid realize he's going nowhere in life?"
Speaker 2: "No, he's pretty beached."
2. Speaker 1: "Remember when Rich threatened to break Dave's nose over a game of Risk?"
Speaker 2: "Yeah, that was super beached."
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To insult or offend someone you are close to or are friendly with, unprovoked.
To drop a nuclear-insult on someone, with no prior warning, for no reason.
--often followed by immediately walking away after issuing the insult and ignoring any commentary or reply from the victim.
Dusty (walks into your office without knocking): You're pretty gay today. I'm sure your dad's proud, since he likes the dong, too. (turns on his heel and leaves)
Victim (stammering): ...wha...well...hey! Your dad like to...shit. Too late. He walked away.
Victim's Office Mate: Bro...you just got beached!
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having eaten so much that you have become immobile; feeling like and resembling a beached whale.
she ate an entire chocolate cake and was subsequently beached
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When a person highly resembles a beached whale in a picture. The chin and neck area is sometimes huge and/or flabby, ruining the entire picture.
Oh, man. I look so beached in that picture. Untag me!
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Used in reference to the city of Colorado Springs, Colorado. First used by the rap group Andronicus, who are native to the city, in their song "Welcome to the Beach."
"Welcome to the Beach. We ain't got sand we got concrete streets."
-Andronicus, "Welcome to the Beach"
-OR-
Girl: Where are you from?
Boy: I'm from the Beach, girl.
Girl: Cool, do you surf?
Boy: Nah, I just kick ass.
Girl: Oh, you mean THE BEACH.
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Basically to be screwed. Originates from a YouTube video parodying the NZ accent. Made by a pair of Australians, the video shows a cartoon whale 'beached'. He says to a passing bird 'Oh no man, I'm beached as!'
'I'm missed the last bus home, I'm beached as'
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