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A worthless government employee assigned to enforce "parking regulations" which is typically a front for a city's Profit Enforcement Division. These minions are often found lurking around trashy cities (Like Tempe, AZ for example) and college campuses where local authorities pay little to no attention to speeders, red light runners, road ragers, drunk drivers, yet enforce parking laws with swift Draconian order and militaristic efficiency.
The meter Nazi is typically a middle-aged overweight high school drop-out who failed entry into a reputable police agency. The resulting bitterness and self-loathing of the meter Nazi leads to disdain for life which creates an insatiable desire for power and control which manifests itself as euphoric enthusiasm for writing bullshit parking citations to individuals who have actually achieved a modicum of success in their life.
The typical meter Nazi spends the majority of their day hunting for motorists who make honest mistakes. Warnings are not options with the meter Nazi. Punishment is dealt swiftly and immediately in the form of a citation that must be paid under threat of blackmail that usually includes arrest warrants, more fines, or suspension of driving privileges. When confronted, the meter Nazi will respond with righteous indignation as though the survival of the human race hung in the balance because of an expired parking meter.
I have to go put some more quarters in the parking meter before those asshole meter Nazi's come by.
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Euphemism used to temporarily excuse oneself from a social gathering--presumably to see how much time is left on the (non-existent) parking meter--in order to do drugs.
"I'll be right back, I gotta check the meter."
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using the nipple as a means to tell the outside temperature
I stepped out in the snowstorm in only a t-shirt, and because my nipples were sticking a foot off my chest, my nipple meter read "cold as fuck"
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A pedo-meter is a non-specific measurement describing the distance between an area where there is a general presence of minors (such as a school or a park) and the nearest pedophile, and the likely hood they will offend. A distance of 1 pedo-meter suggests there is a 50% Chance of pedophile activity in the area; the distance shares an exponentially inverse relationship with pedophile activity.
Person 1. "This park is about 6 pedo-meters away, so the kids are quite safe"
Person 2. "Shit that's not bad, when I was growing up my school had a distance of about .3 pedo-meters, there was a few creepy bald guys driving around in tinted vans from time to time"
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An excuse to get out of a meeting or an appointment when you need to take a dump.
Jon's early morning meeting was iterrupted by a reminder of his nachos & beers the night before. He quickly stood up and said, "Excuse me fellahs. I need to go 'plug the meter.'" Those in the know understood he really just needed to take a crap.
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The base unit of length in the International System of Ass Units (ASS-I). Equivalent to around 12.457 meters or the distance between Dr. Kamal's office and the BME lab.
Mike: "Hey bro, where did you park today?"
Marek: "Approximately 23.4 Ass Meters from here"
Mike: "I see what you did there you fuck!"
a trick employed by scientologists to try to scam you into taking their 'therapy' sessions at $400 a pop. here is a guide. beware:
1. First a scientologist will approach you, offering you a free stress test. you will know they are a scientologist, as they will have the staring, unblinking 'crazy eyes'. they will be very reluctant to take no for an answer.
2. if you do go with them, they will hook you up to an 'e meter'. they will ask you to think of some deeply troubling experience, and when the meter moves slightly, they will present this as evidence you need therapy.
3. you will end up paying $400 a session to have whats troubling you 'audited' (cleared) from your mind. but get this: whats troubling you is, apparently, the souls of murdered aliens (thetans) in your head. betcha didn't see that one coming eh?
i'm sick of these scientologists trying to jack my nads with their e meters
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