tending to the slow cooker

to engage in masturbation

Person 1: "Stop messaging me, im tending to the slow cooker."
Person 2: "What?"
Person 1: "Jacking off"

Car Tending

Serving/consuming alcohol while riding shotgun in a vehicle whether straight from the bottle/flask or from a “to go” plastic cup from the bar or “hitting the bottle” to save money on drinks at the bar or to “serve” alcoholic beverages to a group of people out of a cooler in the trunk of your car.

*Car Tending in a moving vehicle is illegal and is only “allowed” for passengers with a designated sober driver.

*Most Wisconsin bars do a to go beer (unopened) or to go drink (plastic cup) so Drink Wisconsinably.
*Driving while car tending results in death and making your Mama ugly cry.
*Don’t make your Mama ugly cry.

Dude, we will spend less money at the bar if we are car tending tonight!

If we car tend on the way to the party we will have a pretty good buzz by the time that we get there!

Faux-tend

The act of logging onto a zoom meeting but not actually being at the meeting.

I don’t really want to go to the meeting so I am going to faux-tend.