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Towson is a place where everyone has an opinion. Like anywhere else in the country, each group feels more entitled to the town than the others. The private school kids, the ones in plaids and pastels, they scoff at the punks. The punks in jeans that may or may not be skating will look down upon the rich snobs. Regardless, Towson is a place for both. Towson is a place where the private schoolers, the public schoolers, the preps, the punks, the goths, the jocks, the families, the college students...where everyone can feel like they own it. There are enough people like you in Towson to make you feel at home.
In Towson, you can tell your inside story to a total stranger (or say, post it on a website much like this), talk about your high school, your friends, or anything else in your life and expect people to understand you. You find yourself off at college talking about how Towson Commons is cool if you're in middle school (inside) or if you're under the influence (outside) when you realize no one else knows what you're talking about and they don't care either.
Lacrosse is much bigger in Towson than it is anywhere else. Look around. Count the LaxWorld, STX, or (insert high school) lacrosse stickers plastered to the back of SUVs, Volvos, and anything else that goes through the roundabout. Yes, there are other sports. Yes, they can field entire teams. No, they will not eclipse lacrosse in Towson.
Like it or not, Towson will remain the same, despite your best efforts. If you're a native, you'll understand. If you're not, hopefully you didn't grow up in a cave, so you'll understand, too. Towson is the best part of us and the worst, a piece of you that you can't get rid of. Towson is the reason you come back home and the reason you can't wait to leave.
Dude: Hey man, where did you get those obnoxious shorts?
Towsonite: Towson.
Chick: What was that game again? La-what?
Towsonite: Wow, you must really be stupid. Do you wanna see my room?
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(n) A suburb of Baltimore frequented by a large and diverse number of teenagers due to the presence of a mall, a movie theater, and an all ages concert venue, serves as Baltimore County's downtown, occasionally takes on a Blade Runner/Clockwork Orange feel later at night.
(v) To visit the aforementioned definition
(n) Let's go to the movies in Towson
(v) Want to go Towsoning on Friday night?
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When describing Towson anyone who lives here knows that you can't leave out the surrounding upper class suburbs of Hunt Valley, Ruxton, Timonium and sometimes Jacksonville (see jville) that feed into the Towson scene. The kids are rich, pretty, smart and the best at their sport, spending most of their time toking on a joint in a friends 70,000$ car or playing ruit in someones basement. The parties are always huge, and no matter how fun it was it will always seem awesome because everybody was too drunk to remember. Lacrosse is THE sport, if you dont play it you play something else and you still love it. If you don't go to private school, its probably not because mommy and daddy cant pay for it but because you wish to have constant interaction with the opposite sex making it easier to be a slut during your high school years. Usually this is done at Dulaney, because Towson and Loch Raven just SUCK. Once you leave, you miss the hell out of it and always come back just so you can raise your own kids in the same unsupervised, spoiled manner your parents did.
We're smarter, prettier and richer than you, and you wouldn't understand unless you were a Towson kid.
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Small town just north of Baltimore City but is actually in Baltimore County. Towson is the Center of Baltimore County Government.
Towson is a fun place to live. Towson is not as rich and snooty as all that. Towson has two section 8 projects right smack in the middle of its Downtown. The Towson Section 8 tenant residents are more stuck up than any of the college students or old dames. Towson Section 8 tenants are mostly sad trash without cash. Old gay queens sit on park benches like spiders waiting for a young college fly to digest. Homeless bums infest the benches near the public library trading foul odors like playing cards. Heroin addicts stumble around looking for the nearby public defenders offices. Losers shop the narrow streets lined with Bail Bonds outlets. Ramshackle houses line small crowded streets trying to look historic but suceeding more at looking tired, forelorn and just plain worn out.
Yes Towson has its upscale pop. There are lots of college students and lots of bars for them to get smashed out of their gords drunk. There are wonderful places to eat. The number's 8, 11, 48 and 3 buses bring folks from the inner city to shop at one of the few remaining super malls offering high end merchandise in Baltimore. Towson Town Mall food court is filled with urban day trippers. Poor inner city folks who come out for a day of window shopping at fine stores. In the mall you see poor folk in tube tops and bras drooling over things they will likely never be able to afford.
You see huge ladies with thunder hips walking through the mall with tight fitting tops revealing endless rolls of hot smelly lard like fat. The biggest fat people are always standing in the way of mall traffic talking loud and acting boorish. Fat ugly thugged out men walking down the mall with equally ugly fat ladies trying desperately to look as if they belong among the endless sea of rich college kids whose every move speaks volumes about their having been born to a rich carefree lifestyle of which many dream.
Towson is home to ugly condos rushed up in a hurry during the housing bubble that never sold and ended up cheap apartment housing for college students. Towson is still upscale despite it all with Markets where you can spend $20 dollors buying all the fixin's for a tuna fish sandwich.
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One of the worst kinds of suburbia; Where the weird kids and the outcasts can't feel sorry for themselves since its not a "white picket fence" area, but where they're always surrounded by republican, conservative "laxxerzzz" and their plastic surgery-high mothers who have too much money to be living in that area, but do anyway.
Me: Get me out of here
Me: Please let me go to college now
Me: Only not at Towson U cause that'd suck balls
Me: Please
Me: Fuck
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aah Towson, my hometown. Lets see, I mean ofcourse there are those sketch punk kids but its mostly preppy kids. Us cool kids go to private schools and those whose parents do not make enough money to fit that category just wish they went to private schools.
-Girls lifestyles consist of big SUVs that daddy bought us, which we drive recklessly, while drunk and stoned, blaring obsene rap songs on the way to our never ending parties
-Boys are the epitome of Ralph Lauren, own all ruit tables, dabble in cocaine, and slut their way through high school
Flip flops, polos, Lilly...you get the picture
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Also known as Weirdo University, Towson is located in one of the most crime ridden areas of the state. Only at Towson will you get alerts sent to your phone of someone getting held up at knife/gunpoint in a library or parking garage, or that a man was found be*ting off while following a woman to her car.
At Towson, the 80% of students are in a frat or sorority, which means you WILL NOT make any friends unless you join one. Unless you fall within the other 20% - 10% Commuter and 10% Montgomery County snob. The students from Montgomery County, or "MoCo" as they call it, think they're the hottest shit since sliced bread. They all know each other from high school, they're actually not attractive at all, and lucky for you, they don't want to be your friend. In fact, no one does!
Oh, I almost forgot to mention the phenomenal job the college does for handing out parking tickets like candy on Halloween, and the AMAZING professors at Towson, who will literally do whatever it takes for you to FAIL their course.
Overall, Towson can be summarized as a school full of losers who mostly all know each other and just want to party because, well, that's all there is to do in Maryland. With crime alerts on a daily basis, professors who will fail you with a smile on their face, and the most unappealing, snobby students ever, if you decide to go Towson, you will surely regret it.
"Hey bro where did you end up going out in Towson last night?"
"I went uptown again...man, what a weird, sh*tty night...I can't wait to go back home to New York. Why did we come here again?"
"I was wondering the same thing man. I need to go back home to Jersey and get away from these friggin annoying people as soon as possible!"
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