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In the vein of "awkward animals" one creates with one's hands during an awkward lull in the conversation- the awkward vulva is performed by making both hands into a mouth-like shape, with the thumbs forming the bottom jaw and the fingers overlapped forming the upper jaw, so to speak. then open and close the "mouth." True, the Awkward Vulva is oriented horizontally, unlike a true vulva, but it is, after all, an AWKWARD vulva. it is accompanied by the chant "Awkward Vulva!" *clap clap, clap-clap-clap* (to the tune of "its all over")
Guy #1: Man, that sandwich was delicious!
Hot Asian Chick: oh really? was it a dick sandwich?
Guy #1: yes.
...
Guy #2: AWKWARD VULVA! *clap clap, clap-clap-clap*
13👍 6👎
the most sacred and secret crevice of a woman
Because of intense fear of the monstrous headmaster, the high-school girl’s sacred and secret cleft of vulva got moist with perspiration.
After a period of long masturbation (after a period of Macrastinating), the vulva becomes prune-like and a deep purple.
I went on vacation and really needed to masturbate, but now I have a vulva hangover.
A kick to the woman's vulva/ovaries to cause pain.
Women do not realize how much damage a kick to the vulva can cause them. Hitting them directly in the vulva can be very fatal.
Kicking a woman directly in her vulva can cause:
-major bleeding
-nausea
-heart attacks
-cause to be knocked out
-no longer able to give birth
This is a great self defense move to use on women.
I remember this girl was bullying me, and I kicked her directly in her ovaries, she dropped to the ground and began at cry. Nobody decided to help her and she was just groveling on the floor... All day.
Samantha was bullying me, so I gave her a swift vulva kick. Her ovaries we're bleeding the whole week.
5👍 3👎
the pattern that a vulva makes when pressed against a surface. As each fingerprint is unique, so is each vulva-print.
The police officer was able to identify the suspect at the crime scene (a nude swimming pool for super-models) based solely on her vulva-print. The quick-thinking officer took a picture of the water-mark the suspect's vulva made against a bench at the swimming pool before it dried in the hot sun. After taking the vulva-print of each super-model at the pool using a soft clay mold pressed gently, yet firmly, against her vulva, the suspect (who had a glabrous, well-defined labia-majora and a trim labia-minora with crinkles at the edges reminiscent of orchid's petals) was identified.
8👍 6👎
sexually stimulating a girl but not caring to stick around and see her finish.
I wanted to go to the gym, so I just vulva jogged her.
4👍 2👎
Having a man who can satisfy your sexual needs and doesn’t know how to take hints or verbal/ physical cues. Therefore. A woman isn’t ever satisfied enough to get an orgasm worth the effort of trying to sexually attempt to get off.. get new man..
She had blue vulva for 3 years.. she eventually moved on and found someone who could understand her needs to get a nut.