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Someone who steals your shit to make themselves look better to others.
Jim: "Jesus Dan. Did John just take your iPhone to show to his girlfriend?"
Dan: "Yea. He's a turd burglar."
Hey Roy! The toilet is full in the port a pot, think you can wave down the turd burglars when they drive by to empty it for us?
a funny insult which could be used when someone is/was being a dick, usually in a non-serious manner (also see turgle for further details).
mike: *steals jenny's phone*
jenny: give it back you turd burglar
An individual who has the annoying habit of making a scene outside the stall while you’re trying pop a deuce in order to get you to hurry up. Turd Burglars show up typical when you’re in public bathroom in a busy location and someone very impatient shows up and decides to interrupt your shitting session.
>You: answering nature’s call in a public bathroom like a normal person
> Turd burglar: “ Hurry up mister I need to go, I NEED TO GO!!!” X 50 on loop until you finish pushing your slimy turd
Someone who simply steals your poop. You could be taking a nice dump, not knowing what’s hiding in your shower, or under your sink… as soon as you stand up from the toilet and turn away for a second… your turd will be gone because the turd burglar took it. You will not catch them… nor see them.. unless they’re over 34 years of age. They are either assigned to a person at the age of 6, or placed into a house when built, and will steal everyone’s turds that ever lives there.
Frank - “Yo… I just took a shit, and when I turned around to flush… it wasn’t there”
Marlo- “oh, it was probably the turd burglar
Brown burglar is the act in which anal sex is taken without consent.
Brown Burglar- I'm not comfortable talking about homosexual acts ever since I got Brown Burgled
A loaded gun that’s close by when someone breaks in to your place.
We never had a need for a brinks security system. Daddy kept the “loaded burglar alarm” under his bed.