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Matrix Mondays

Definition: Matrix Mondays

An information technology error or incident or series of incidents that occur on any Monday and ultimately disrupts productivity for a valuable period time.

Examples in a sentence:
James: “I can’t seem to integrate calendly to my email calendar and we need to prioritize this immediately.” Matt can you setup your calendly IMAP server now.”

Response: “No way it’s Monday… I’m not starting my week by getting sucked into the vortex of Matrix Mondays!”

“I’ll call them and figure it out myself”

ring ring… please hold while we find an agent for you… 1 hour later… I’m sorry goodbye *click*

History : A term coined by Matt Clarke, COO @ Nuera Capital in 2024.

Last week Matrix Mondays almost got me fired. I had my email server crash and my zoom account suspended without warning because the payment didn’t go through. I couldn’t see my meetings so they were all cancelled and I just wanted to scream:

by UptobeHappy November 26, 2024


Free From The Matrix

What I call homo-sapiens who know the spartan prayer: "Achilles, the frequency auditor, born by hands and killed by feet because he was so endowed in the trench that he was laid to rest so a female can portray the rest" and are addicted to abscesses.

Person 1: Do you know the spartan prayer and are addicted to abscesses?
Person 2: Yes.
Person 1: Free From The Matrix

by Abreathofaversaillian January 24, 2025


Caucasian Privelege: The Matrix

The only reason Caucasians have access to the matrix is Caucasian Provelege.

Without it, they would drown to death in their own Caucasian guilt tears in the slums of Mumbai, a la Slumdog Millionaire.

Caucasian Privelege: The Matrix.

The only reason I am a racism, colonization, cultural appropriation and pedophilia victim is due to Caucasian privelege.

Ain't nobody begging to have their access to the matrix forcibly removed like India and Free Palestine.

by Lil Miss Hood Baby Mila 👸🏻🥇 August 28, 2024

11👍 2👎


whiskey matrix

The precise amount of drunk where all you want to do is clean around your place. While the amount required varies from person to person, it usually falls in the realm of 2-5 drinks.

I got home from the bar last night and ended up in the Whiskey Matrix. Now, all my laundry is done and I can't find my cat.

by Elk Snot July 19, 2018


quantum matrix

The word defining the very essence of something that is very complicated but doesn't really exist.

A: How did you French exam go?
B: Well you know I just had to reconfigure the quantum matrix, that's all.

by Weed_lord_boner_hitler June 12, 2017


matrix COVID

What Agent Smith gives everybody in the matrix sequels. Matrix COVID is usually spread through an Agent Smith clone (these clones are infected people). A person who is infected with Matrix COVID has black semen that if touched, will infect the,pm. This semen usually leaks onto their hands if an infected person touches someone who isn’t infected. The semen will cover the person’s body and a Smith will emerge from the cum.

Though Smith can infect anybody, he usually goes for women. Matrix COVID is anywhere: Hospitals, nightclubs, even your own house! People who are dead can not be infected, so you should probably become an hero if you don’t want Matrix COVID, but getting it is like becoming An Hero except there is no body left over.

The black puddle on the floor reminds Sophia that if she touches it, she will get Matrix COVID

by Bambianca December 25, 2021


Matrix's law

The Matrix's law works in the same way than godwin's law. Whenever an online discussion about artificial intelligence progresses, it becomes inevitable that someone or something will eventually be compared to Terminator or any movie with an evil AI.

"Have you seen the last progress of Google's deepmind ?"

"Yeah, we're one step closer from an AI revolution"

"Ah yes, the Matrix's law"

by Ixefen April 12, 2021