Random
Source Code
Random
1. The reason we have little nuisances like the ESRB RIAA and FCC
2. Any DECENT person's worst nightmare (right next to Billy Ray Cyrus)
3. Mothers who think that by making there kids slaves to pop culture, it would make up for the fact that they live shitty, cocaine-infested lives.
Teen: *Buying M-Rated game*
Soccer Mom: You're not 17. You have to be 17 or older to buy that game.
Cashier: Sorry, I can't sell this to you.
Soccer Mom: Games like this poison your mind.
Teen: No, assholes like you poison my mind.
Soccer Moms are like AOL cds, for every one that you get rid of, 10 more spring up.
238👍 47👎
Dumb whores who have nothing better to do than drive their son to soccer practice, bitch to the clerk in the EB Games/GameStop store at the mall about how violent video games are "Polluting our youth's minds" and orders them to take them off the shelves and no longer sell them, and get in car wrecks with their gigantic minivan/SUV.
Soccer Moms are dumb.
115👍 20👎
That bitch in the SUV who almost ran you over this morning because you had the nerve to try to cross her street at a crosswalk, when the little "walk" man was green, despite the fact that she had over one hundred feet to slow her fat ass down before crowding you out of the lane, which she wanted to use to make a right turn without signaling. Don't worry, she didn't see you: she was on her cell phone talking to some other soccer mom slut, and is therefore incapable of perceiving, acknowledging or responding to any outside influence or displaying any semblance of situational awareness that might prevent her from running you over. In fact, even though the law guarantees you the right of way as a pedestrian, you should always yield to the soccer mom or in general the dodge driver or SUV driver, so her fat kid can in fact get to soccer practice five seconds sooner: he needs the exercise.
To identify a soccer mom listen for the phrase -- "Fucking bitch, watch where you're going and get off the phone!"
We should all be nicer to soccer moms...they have it rough. Its hard to drink Starbucks, talk on your cell phone too loudly in public, run pedestrians over in your SUV and single-handedly change the movie, TV and video game rating system all at the same time.
The soccer mom should not be confused with the conventional stay-at-home-mom, who actually stays home, supports her family and raises children who don't grow up to be money-grubbing scoundrel frat boy/girls who are incapable of contributing to society, but rather raises well-mannered respectable young adults that don't make you want to puke every time you see them.
177👍 35👎
an Englishman or Scot who likes to attend football games pissed out of his skull, start fights, and vandalize property; unhappy unless someone leaves the game in an ambulance
That stupid cunt is wearing the other team's shirt! Let's break his fucking kneecaps!
153👍 30👎
a white suburban woman..... upper to middle class, who drives either a mini van or an SUV to shuttle her "precious cargo" to play dates, soccer practice, little league, PTA meetings. All the while, endangering the lives of other drivers and pedestrians on the road with her lead foot and cutting people off in traffic. A woman who also has an affinity for Starbucks, forcing her children to listen to Yanni, imposing time outs on her little "angels" instead of the more deserved smack on the ass that these little shits deserve, and maintaining her trophy wife status to her executive husband..... Mostly....... A woman who has no idea how to actually raise a child by her own wits, just subscribing to the BS that it takes a village.......
see above
400👍 88👎
A burden to the human race, a scourge of humanity, a disgusting demon from Hell. The reason for such atrocities like the ESRB, v-chips, and the freakin' FCC. Soccer moms are a subspecies of humans, like monkeys and chimpanzees. They are often middle-aged and blonde, but they act like they're 20 and they often wear track pants to show of their disgusting hippo-ass that will make you vomit. They think their little, bratty, teeny boppers spawned from the radioactive shit from the asshole of Satan. Seriously, their kids are like demons! Soccer moms often force their offspring to do some sort of after school (soccer, baseball, football, etc.). Soccer moms also have very strict rules.
Me: *listening to Banana 101.5 in my Dad's car while he gets some smokes and beer*
Soccer Mom: You turn that awful garbage off this instant!
Me: *turns it up*
SM: TURN IT OFF YOU AWFUL MONSTER, MY CHILDREN ARE TO SPACES DOWN!!!
Me: Fuck you.
SM: *angry groan* YOU... YOU...*stomps off in anger*
Me: What a bitch.
190👍 39👎
A more severe version of owned. Being Soccer Mom'd is akin to being reduced to tears by your mother in front of your friends.
Person A: Your mama's so fat she plays pool with the planets.
Person B: Your juvenile insults betray the fact that your mother whored you out as a child, at 50 cents a turn. Your cut was 1 cent which you saved up for 25 weeks to play one game at the arcade, which you promptly lost due to Mrs. Butterworth's residue in your ass from that morning's "work".
Onlooker: SOCCER MOM'D!
74👍 13👎