african paint job

Its when your on the shitter and then you whip your ass and blow your nose with the same piece of toilet paper

Jon: I was pooping and the i gave myself and African paint job

Tron: eeeeew that gross

10👍 4👎

Massachusetts Park Job

An anal sex act, largely performed by males and females with strap-ons, that can be completed in three succinct steps.

1. Put it in the back door little cock-eyed ("a little cock-eyed" is usually described as at about an 80 degree angle).

2. Just leave it there for a little while (about 5 minutes is normal, but times up until 10 minutes or even climax have been done before)

3. Pull it out, and then look at the recepient of the act as if it's their fault (yelling optional)

"Hey, Dean. You were so plastered last night that you couldn't even fuck straight." "Yeah, I gave Mary a real Massachusetts Park Job"

10👍 3👎

Tijuana boob job

A breast augmentation of such poor quality that it could have been done in Tijuana for very little money.

Did you see how bad her new tits look? Tijuana boob job FTL.

10👍 5👎

Emotional Blow-Job

The act of listing all the good qualities about your friendship with someone, being sure to point out all the things you love about them. Then you expect the same list in return from them and they fail to offer it.

" I just spent 20 minutes telling him how great he was, then I got nothing in return. I just sat there and gave him an emotional blow-job"

10👍 3👎

air job

When the blowing of hot air from a oral cavity results in the recipient of the "air job" to temporarily loose feeling in his testicles ergo blue balls.

Last night at the park, I paid some broad eight bucks to blow me and all I got was an air job. Now I have blue balls so bad I can't walk!

5👍 42👎

Gem Job

Is when you ask for your check at a restaurant and the server climbs up on your table and spells out your total with her feces

I went to a place in the poconos and this waitress shit on my table,, oh shit son, you got a gem job kid,, damnnnnnnn boooyeeee!

5👍 42👎

Thumb Blow-Job

When you first meet a girl and your curious if she is good at going down on you. So you ask her to give your thumb a bj.

boy: (thinking) hmm i wonder how good she is.
boy: hon, can u give me a thumb blow-job? i wanna see how good u are
girl: i might not be good at it, i havent done it in a while.
boy: idc i just wnna see how good u r
girl: ok

. . .

boy: omg ur a fucking pro . . . if only that was my dick!

26👍 12👎