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The church in which those who sit around it are mesmerized and are turned in to a transcended form. It is stated that those who come to the church every Tuesday instead of eating tacos are rewarded with a cup of piss in there hand within a chalice. Those who receive it may drink from the chalice and they may see a blessed video of the legend himself known as sodahead 13.
"What are you doing today?"
"I'm going to the church and try and get some piss."
"Oh, the Church of Piss!"
Horrible coffee made exclusively by churches. It is always way too weak and tastes odd. They just can't get it right!
guy 1: Hey, how's the coffee?
guy 2: Horrible, it tastes like Church Coffee.
guy 1: Gross. Lets get a Monster instead.
When you take a shit that is so long that as it falls from your ass, it leans forward and bumps into the back side of your balls like clanging a bell.
"I should have pinched that deuce off sooner and it wouldn't have gone church bell on me."
Free swag you get from your church on Sunday.
Hey Lucy, check out the free St. John’s coffee mugs. That’s some sweet church merch!
Friends people claim to be from church but are actually from something more suspicious. Such as an orgy, sex cult, or dog fighting ring.
I was hanging out with my "church friends" yesterday. I felt things I haven't in a long while ;)
A person who claims to be or is on the righteous path of life. No longer cool enough to hang with old friends. Makes bullshit excuses when asked to hang out but really cant go out cuz they're bound by a significant other.
Person 1: yo you hung out with john recently?
Person 2: nah man he turned into a straight church niggah.
Taylor Church is an amazing best friend. She would do anything for her friends from looking up there name meaning or just giving them guy advice. Taylor can also be lazy when she wants to but she is always a bad-ass. She is beautiful, and outgoing. She is one of those girls who doesn't fall over every guy who talks to her. She save herself for the right guy(after college of course). She loves her family, even thought they can be a pain. She loves animals and school.
I want to be Taylor Church!