Porch Monk'd Out

Drinking excessive amounts of alcohol and sleeping anywhere.

Conan drunk a bottle of vodka and Porch Monk'd Out by the river.

Back Porch Weed

The type of bud cops can't smell from the street, but still gives an adequete high.

Guy 1: "Hold on, man. There's a cop patrolling the street." Guy 2: "Ha, not a problem. This is 100% pure back porch weed. Only thing he'll be smelling is the wrap." Guy 1: "Ahhh, you got that back porch bud, I got you"

ALABAMA PORCH MONKEY

a derogatory word for a person of African descent; a negro

1. The Alabama porch monkey tends to be lazy and would rather draw welfare than work.
2.The Alabama porch monkey likes to wear gold chains and drink malt liquor.

643👍 247👎

not the brightest bulb on the porch

a nice way of refering to a person who is not smart or who does things that are ill-advised

See also: not the sharpest tool in the shed, a few bricks shy of a load, not playing with a full deck

Durwood: My uncle is not the brightest bulb on the porch.

Winthrop: Why do you say that?

Durwood: He saw a sign that said 'keep of the grass'... so flushed his stash o' hash down the drain.

Winthrop: Bloody 'ell!

32👍 8👎

reverse porch pirate

The act of going directly to someone's place of residence and leaving them a package, rather than sending it through the mail. The contents can be anything from a glitter bomb to a legitimate gift.

I'm bored and that prick who stole my lunch last week isn't home, so I'm gonna reverse porch pirate him with my cat's used litter.

10👍 1👎

Sleep on the Porch Night

1. An evening in which you go out to a party or the bars, shamelessly sing your heart out on the karaoke stage, then walk home barefoot only to find that you are locked out of your house, but are too afraid to wake up your roommates (who have exams the next day), so despite the freezing temperatures, you fall asleep on your front porch.

2. Any truly crazy college night that provides you with several funny stories to tell the next day.

Since college is going to be over before we know it, we have to have as many Sleep on the Porch Nights as possible before we graduate so that we have stories to tell our grandchildren.

21👍 5👎

Hopped off the porch

The day your innocence was lost, when you started conducting yourself as an adult. The point in time when you go from child, to adult. More examples would be having sex, getting high, and breaking the law. Popped your cherry.

I was 14 years old the day I hopped off the porch. That was the first time I smashed a hoe.

44👍 12👎