two meat slapping

The penis and the vagina or even a man’s anus doing the thing together. Feeling sexually aroused

I heard two meat slapping against each other!

two-fer

A derogatory term suggesting that someone fits the stereotypes of two different marginalized classes, typically used as a slur against visible minorities.

"He's black AND an apartment renter? The guy's such a two-fer."

One two switcheroo

The act of very quickly pulling out of a woman and then slipping it into her ass

I pulled a one two switcheroo on my girlfriend last night, we haven't spoken since

Two Tone Tom

Someone with a really bad farmer’s tan.

“Jesus Billy, you lookin like a Two Tone Tom right now. Go to the beach and even that tan out!”

Two plate disaster

A phrase to describe a situation or person that is a real mess and does not have their shit together. Even thought breaking one plate causes a mess, it’s just an accident, but when two plates break - it is a true disaster.

Our country is a complete two plate disaster.

Did you see that dude at the party last night? He was a two plate disaster.

Two-Way Wiper

An individual that is so stingy, that after wiping their ass with some toilet paper, they flip it over and use the unsoiled side.

Steve: Fucking Jim wouldn't even loan me five dollars so I can buy a slice of pizza.
John: Well, what do you expect? The guy is a Two-Way Wiper!

two hands

indicates that the speaker believes a person/people or character(s) could/should be in a non-monogamous relationship

Do you ship Peter and MJ or Peter and Harry?
I mean, Peter has two hands...