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The Covid 19

Like the "freshman 15" but it's the weight you gain from being stuck in quarantine.

My mom asked if i gained weight and i said "yeah i got a case of 'The Covid 19'

by Dickerson231 April 22, 2020

32👍 18👎


Covid-130

When health officials and academics were relieved and overjoyed to hear that Dr. Scott Atlas, US President Donald Trump's controversial special adviser on Covid-19, who was on a 130-day contract, had resigned—he rose to notoriety after questioning the need for masks and other measures to control the pandemic.

Besides casting doubt on the usefulness of masks, the president’s “Covid-130 health con-sultant” was against lockdowns and supported herd immunity as a strategy to contain the coronavirus outbreak.

by Covido December 12, 2020

26👍 48👎


Covid-38

Covid-38 means getting diagnosed with the same disease twice (at this point the coronavirus) 19+19=38

Boyfriend: Bad news babe, I got diagnosed with coronavirus again

Girlfriend: Oh no, you're diagnosed with covid-38?

by billieilish April 26, 2020

13👍 6👎


Covid-20

Recovered corona patients of all ages and from all backgrounds who suffer ongoing symptoms around the body, which includes the lungs, the brain, the heart, the kidneys, the gut, the liver, and the skin even after day 20.

For some patients, it’s an ongoing Covid-20 illness after infection with Covid-19.

by Covido January 6, 2021

24👍 42👎


covid-shmovid

A yiddish term rationalizing the effects and ramifications of Covid-19 (the novel corona virus).

Dude 1: Hey Rabbi, This Corona Virus is really serious. So many of us are going to die. The lord is punnishing us all... what should i do ?

Rabbi: ahhhh, covid-shmovid. If g-d wanted to take your life he would have done so already with a bus. This is just a test from the almighty one. We all have to reach our ultimate resting place at some point, so lets continue with our lives as normal and pray for redemption.

Dude 1: Thanks Rabbi, you again show how wise you are. I feel much better now.

Rabbi: Remember to donate to charity on your way out and also remember to put your mask on this week.

by a_fool March 27, 2020

13👍 6👎


COVID-X

When the letter X is linked to different operations (addition, multiplication, exponentiation, tetration) with regard to the actual number of infections or fatalities in a country—for example, if X infected cases are reported in some rogue nations, the actual figures are probably closer to the following: North Korea: X + 2; India: 2X; Russia: 2ˣ; China: ˣ2.

What is COVID-X for China if X is 3? The answer is ³2 = (2²)² = 4² = 16.

by Covido January 10, 2021

21👍 36👎


Covid-22

Catch-22 during the coronavirus pandemic: if you stay at home, you have no money to feed your family and pay the bills; and if you go out and work, you risk your life and those of your loved ones, especially if some members are prone to contracting the virus due to a poor health condition.

Adios and his wife, both out of work, are in debt and face eviction at the end of the month, with the family of five trying to keep their baby who suffers from a rare disease condition that requires round-the-clock care at home instead of moving to a homeless shelter; however, if they go out to work, the odds of them infecting their little one are pretty high—they’re stuck in a Covid-22 situation.

by Covido December 1, 2020

23👍 40👎