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Wank Camel

When you go a long time without having a flog just like a camel would go without water.

Person 1: "I haven't masturbated in ages."

Person 2: "Whoa dude, you're such a Wank Camel."

by TeddyBazz October 17, 2015


noble wank

To remain stoic and in touch with your spiritual side while engaging in the act of masturbation. It could also be to masturbate with a higher purpose in mind than merely the pursuit of bodily pleasures.

Father: son, did i just catch you tugging your meat soldier?

son: yes dad, but dont worry, it was a noble wank.

Father: Well that's ok then son, you have maintained your dignity. I'll speak with your mother and see if we cant raise your allowance a bit.

son: thank you father.

by Dasten April 17, 2014


Quantum Wank

n. Masterbating whilst mentally reliving past sexual failures and "Trying to put right what once went wrong."

I totally blew it with the hot chick with the big jugs last night. She walked away 'to talk to her friends' and I knew she wasn't coming back. I ended having a Quantum Wank over her when I got home so my balls didn't explode. Those puppies weren't hard to forget!

by Lucky Bastard MK1 May 5, 2010


preparatory wank

Jacking off before you get with your woman, so that you'll last longer before cumming.

I like to get in a preparatory wank before I pound my wife into the mattress, but I have to be careful or I won't be able to cum, just pump her dry pussy for an hour before giving up.

by Strokher Ace November 28, 2013


Wank Mit

A mitten used to aid masturbation. Often knitted from wool. A posh alternative to the wank sock.

Available in male and female flavours.

Tobias, my mom just found one of my wank socks and put her hand inside it!", "Dude, you really need to buy a wank mit, they're washable too

by WankMit March 28, 2011


Disaster Wank

A wank that takes your mind off a disaster that has just occured, allowing you to have a clear mind to think of a solution.

1) I rolled my car last night. Hit two pedestrians and a dog.
2) Bloody hell, what did you do?!
1) I had a quick Disaster Wank then set about destroying the evidence before running off into the woods.

by Harold Bishop's Love Child March 2, 2010


karen wank

Anything that makes a Karen cream her pants. This includes but is not limited to:
Being told she must do something
A request of hers being refused
A new rule being implemented
Any opportunity to complain
More than one manager currently available
Too much lettuce on their fast food burger.

Oh god, too much lettuce....that's another Karen Wank.

by KosherBob January 6, 2021