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Absolut Value

The value of one's weight in absolut vodka. Multiply weight in lbs by 14.08 (Absolut vodka is roughly 88 cents per ounce).

"See that girl over there, the really skinny one?"
"Oh shit! She is so fucking skinny."
"I bet her absolut value is only 1300"
"I'd say 1200."
"Shiiet."

absolute value absolute vodka absolut vodka

by bennydre May 1, 2013


absolute bananas

a moment when a person goes borderline insane and is overreacting and screaming and all that.

"dude, why is your room so messy?"
"i went absolute bananas when i saw my exam grade yesterday."

by sigmeow April 4, 2024


absolutely wallpapered

Absolutely wallpapered is when you have drank so much alcohol and smoked so much weed that you are absolutely wallpapered and can’t even get up to go for a wee

“I need a piss mate but I’m absolutely wallpapered that I can’t be arsed going for a wee

by Stayout February 27, 2019


Absolute Mucus

The weird temperature at which your mucus freezes in your nose and feels weird.

Yeah dude it was so cold this morning that I think it would hit about absolute mucus. It was very uncomfortable.

Student: What is the exact temperature of Absolute mucus
Teacher: It varies depending on many factors including but not limited to, the amount of mucus in nose, size of nose, and amount of hair in nose.

by TheGuyWhoDefinesThingsSOmetime August 26, 2018


The Absolute Soup

When you call someone the absolute soup, you are saying that they have soup for brains, and therefore stating that they cannot grasp the power of big moon.

Excuse me Sir, you are the most soupy person I have ever seen, and you may even be the absolute soup.

by ASAPaperlepsepserGUY February 27, 2019


absolute imbecile

the types of people who don't like Numberblocks

Mark is an absolute imbecile.

by theamazingtritri October 28, 2021


Absolute Krusty

The act wherein the male ejaculates onto his partners hair while they sleep, resulting in a spiky and crispy hairdo that resembles the one worn by The Simpsons character Krusty The Clown.

"Doris looks rough today Keith, did you slip her an Absolute Krusty last night?.."

by Robbie Carton Comedian July 29, 2022