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a- The ring shaped dent or stretched area in your wallet due to a long period of time when your unused condom in your wallet in your back pocket has been sat on repeatedly
b- the red ring at the base of a man's shaft, that goes to the top, due to the idiot using a condom they purchased quite a few years earlier, when they were most likely pre-pubescent, and is much too small, leaving a pressure mark after it's use.
a- "I can tell you have a rubber in your wallet"
"how so?"
"i can see the condom ring from here, haha"
b- "I think my condom's the wrond size"
"why do you think that?"
"Its so small I have a condom ring every time i use it, and sometimes it hurts"
17👍 5👎
A mentally created condom used to help prevent the spread of MTDs (Mentally Transmitted Diseases). This is the only way to help prevent the spread of MTDs, the only thing that can make any sexual act involving the mind very dangerous. Mind condoms are mentally generated, and in no way reduce the pleasure of sexual activities involving the mind, other than the time it takes to mentally generate a mind condom. Mind condoms are generated by concentrating on their mind and nervous system being wrapped in rubber or a similar water proof substance. The more partners involved in a sexual mind act, the longer one will have to concentrate on creating a mind condom, in order to prevent the mind condom from failing. It is recommended that all partners involved in the mentally sexual act have a mind condom ready.
Don't be insane, cover your brain with a mind condom.
52👍 22👎
An unfortunate affliction found in males that 99% of the time will lead to bigger problems. One with this disorder will be extremly arroused, hard, and ready for a sexual encounter until a condom is applied. Once the condom is on, the male's errection disappears and goes completly limp. After this, one of the following happens:
1. The female refuses to go forward without a condom and the male never gets laid.
2. The female and male agree to forget the condom and go for it, usually leading to an STD, pregnancy, or both.
3. The male pathetically tries with the condom on until the female tires and says "Oh, just get off me already!"
Some men only have the disorder when drunk, while others have it all their lives.
Dude: I am soo hard!
Chick: Woah! Don't forget the condom!
::Dude puts condom on and looses errection::
Chick: Oh no! You're condom shy aren't you? Fuck this, I'll see ya later...
Dude: Damn it!!
12👍 3👎
1. A banana with a condom on it.
Used for fucking a girl with a banana,the condom being on the banana so the girl will not have an orgasm all over the healthy fruit.
2.Commonly used for fucking a girl if you don't want to get your dick or your fingers dirty. Newbies use this technique all the time.
Person 1: Hey man,mind if I have some condoms? I'm going to fuck my girlfriend tonight.
Person 2: Yeah sure,you're lucky because I almost ran out,the last one is on that Banana,just take it.
Person 1:...What in the fuck....
Person 2: Don't ask. Just don't. Condom Banana is just right for you.
12👍 3👎
Tinted or mirrored sunglasses used for personal protection while eye humping so as to not get caught.
Always practice safe eye humping. Wear an eye condom.
Dude at least put your eye condom on before you eye hump that girl!
12👍 3👎
If you don't like Judas, Wear an ear condom next time
In the most Biblical sense, I am beyond repentance. Fame hooker, prostitute wench, vomits her mind. But in the cultural sense I just speak in future tense. Judas kiss me if offenced, or wear an ear condom next time
61👍 27👎
1. Store where you need to be 18 to enter, for obvious reasons. There are things in there which nobody should ever be forced to see.
2. The backbone of Puerto Rico's economy.
Alan: Why do you have so many Condom worlds.
Random Puerto Rican Student: I don't know. We're horny.
37👍 15👎