Person who talks loudly on phone around a captive audience (i.e. In an elevator, a train, dorm room, or other group setting) and says ignorant, obnoxious, or simply TMI kinds of things.
In a dorm, late at night:
Your room-mate on the phone: "Don't worry dude, you didn't know you had (horrendous STD) before you started dating her, if she breaks up with you over that, she's just not the one."
You text your friend: "My room-mate is a total Phone-douche!"
All the while you cover your ears under your blanket imagining smashing his phone/asking God what you did to deserve this.
Anyone who owns an smart phone or bluetooth headset.
"I don't know if I should get an iphone 3Gs or an Android, I really like the functionality of my iPhone 3g but it doesn't have the features of a Blackerry that I require. I'm so excited that the new iphone opperating system supports stereo bluetooth sound now that I have my motorokr headphones. Can anyone tell me if you can broadcast bluetooth to more than two speakers for digital surround sound? I want to synch my light garden to Pink Floyd and smoke pot with the lady friend who think's im just a phone-drone with my headset tuned to star trek, but how do I broadcast to two headsets at once? I'm having synching issues.
to pretend your on the phone with/ texting someone while in public for either two reasons:
1. too look cool and like you have friends or
2. to avoid certain situations
reason number two is the most respectable one.
1. person 1: whos that skank on the phone with? why would anyone call her?
person 2: i bet shes phoney phoning.
2. person 1: shit here she comes, lets phoney phone so she won't try and talk to us.
A person who insists on talking or texting but doesn't provide any meat to the conversation, thus wasting your time.
John: "I'm so fed up with Teresa; she's a total phone vegan."
Conversation of a phone vegan:
Teresa: Hi.
John: Hey, what's up? How have you been?
Teresa: Nuthin. Good.
John: ... That's good. What did you want to talk about?
Teresa: Idk.
Someone who attends a live music event and insists on filming the performance on their phone instead of enjoying the atmosphere. Exactly what these dipshits do with the footage after the event is unclear but it's likely it just sits on their phone, acting as a reminder of the performance they attended in person but largely watched via a 5 inch screen. The Phone Wanker is further characterised by the person filming the event with their phone in a vertical/portrait orientation, thus rendering the footage unusable for any purpose other than viewing it on their phone. Sadly all attempts to capture the event for prosperity (or perhaps bragging rights) are rendered useless anyway since the diminutive microphone on the phone is inadequate when faced with the venues high powered speaker stack.
I went to see Rag n Bone man in concert last week. Amazing gig but I was surrounded by Phone Wankers who insisted on filming it!
A person or friend who will call your cell phone to rescue you from an uncomfortable or otherwise undesireable conversation with someone else.
Thank god my phone goalie stepped in, because if I had to listen to one more story about how she named her cat "Pilates", I was going to pull my own arms off....
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