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CHUCK NORRIS

COOLER THAN YOU!!
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.


Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.


Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost



Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.



Chuck Norris is my Homeboy.


When Chuck Norris looks in the mirror nothing appears. There can never be a second Chuck Norris


Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.


When Chuck Norris wants popcorn, he breathes on Nebraska.


Chuck Norris invented the apple.


Chuck Norris beat the Sun in a staring contest.



P is for Chuck Norris, as is every other letter of the alphabet.

chuck norris

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by flabbergasted!! March 16, 2009

8πŸ‘ 69πŸ‘Ž


Chuck Norris Weed

It's the strongest, most sinister weed on the planet. Smoking it will knock you out like a round house kick to the face. It's got 10 times the level of THC found in even the best weed. This weed is so hairy...not only does it have a beard...it has a mustache...just like Chuck! It is the only thing that could get Chuck Norris high, so it was named after him in his honor!

A.K.A. "Texas Ranger"

"Eh dog, you got any of that Chuck Norris Weed? Cause I'm fixin' to knock myself the fuck out?"

"You got any of that Chuck Norris? Cause I'm looking to Judo Chop my ass from this weed!"

"That shit MUST be Texas Ranger cause its above the law!"

by Brandon Evans December 4, 2007

64πŸ‘ 26πŸ‘Ž


chuck norris fail

something that can not and will not ever happen.

Stacy: hey, how likely do you think it is for me to lose weight?
Tom: as likely as a Chuck Norris fail!
(Chuck Norris appears from the shadows, Roundhouse kicks Stacy in the face, and gives Tom a high-five)

by the gentleman thief January 18, 2010

49πŸ‘ 19πŸ‘Ž


Robotic Chuck Norris

1. Robotic version of Chuck Norris who appears in Waterman cartoons. Has the ability to skip time and kick ass.

2. Something, or someone who didn't do anything.

3. Comic relief.

1. "Robotic Chuck Norris owes you nothing!"
"I'm equipped with the ability to skip time! I skipped a downward spiral of depression and retardedness to get to this mess.."

2. "Robotic Chuck Norris had nothing to do with that. That just sucked OUT OF CONTROL."

"IT WAS HIM"
"Dude, he's so Robotic Chuck Noris!"

3. "Gone goldfishing!"
"That was lame!"
*THUNK* "Aha ha ha ha ha ha Good times."

by OverC June 22, 2005

10πŸ‘ 2πŸ‘Ž


Chuck norris cock

A cock that resembles the performance of a Chuck Norris action movie; a beastly cock.

1.)He fucked me so hard with his Chuck Norris Cock last night.

2.)Man your cock is so small, too bad you don't have my chuck norris cock

by ChuckNorrisCOCK May 20, 2010

22πŸ‘ 7πŸ‘Ž


chuck norris

Gods God. The only man that God fears.

Chuck Norris doesn't go to church to worship God, He goes so God can worship him.

by Chuck Norris is God May 5, 2007

8πŸ‘ 71πŸ‘Ž


Chuck Norris Shot

Originating in Fargo ND, the Chuck Norris is a shot of UV Cherry Vodka dropped into 3-4 ounces of Liquid Ice energy drink. It's majorly popular in Grand Forks ND college bars such as Sledster's.

Brian: Let's get some Jag Bombs! Alyssa, you in?
Alyssa: No, but I'll take a Chuck Norris shot. Fuck jag bombs...ick.
Brian: Fuck it. Let's all get Norris's. Pangle, I'll get 5 Chucks!

by RPangle January 6, 2009

343πŸ‘ 183πŸ‘Ž