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Basically, a crap book.
The main character of this horrific series is the not-too-feminist Bella Swan, who claims that should Edward McSparklepants (her very own twu luv) die, she would also take her own life. Apparently, she can't live without him. I mean, way to be independent. Plus, that's kind of the basic premise of all four books. Edward and Bella spend their time getting out of supposedly exciting situations, but while you're reading these, you'll want them to be over. And you're probably angry at all the purple prose that has made its way into this thing, and if you have to read about Edward's 'marble, beautiful, cold' body again, you will punch something. Violently.
Unfortunately, this book is wildly popular because Bella has no personality at all so you can step into her shoes. Everyone claims to want an Edward, but only few realize he's really a controlling jerk. He never lets Bella make any of the decisions, (nor should she, since she seems to have no common sense) and even takes the engine out of her car so she couldn't go see her best friend. Plus, he's a vampire (who fucking sparkles in the sun like Tinkerbell) and a 106 year old virgin, which is just plain scary. It's like Edward was completely asexual until Bella arrived, which is odd. He's battling the thirst for her blood or something like that. Whatever. They still have no chemistry whatsoever, and all they do is whine to each other about how it's dangerous for them to be together.
The plot is massively cliched, and done terribly.
So, um. It sucks. A lot. Please, spare your brain and don't read it.
Fangirl: Edward is so awesome. I know I'm not speaking in my typical terrible grammar, but this is only for those who can't understand chatspeak at all. Plus, it's a way to fill the example box.
Fangirl 2: OMG, TWILIGHT. LET ME ABUSE CAPS BECAUSE ALL CRAZY FANS DO THIS FOR SOME REASON NO ONE CAN FATHOM. I ALSO LIKE TO USE TONS OF EXCLAMATION POINTS TO MAKE MY POINT, WHICH USUALLY RELATES TO EDWARD BEING SUPERHAWT.
83👍 171👎
Powerful supernatural beings fighting over a homely teenage girl.
Person A: Did you read/see Twilight?
Person B: No.
25👍 44👎
A cesspit of literary bullshit spammed by prepubescent girls. Massive fans of Twilight call themselves Twihards, but 'Twitards' is more accurate.
Prepubescent Twitard: OMG I LURVE TWILIGHT edward is sooooooooooooooooooo romantic omg hes soooooooooooooooooooooooooo hottt omg im so jealous of bella lololololololololol i know its against my religion to do sex b4 marage bt i wnt a vampira 2 byte meee and dooo teh sexxxx. its wot i want 4 my 13th bday!!!
23👍 38👎
(the saga)
The very epitome of 'epic fail.'
Bella: Edward, I want you inside of me. NOW.
Edward: Bella, my dear pumpkin juice with sugared platypus eggs on top, you have to marry me first.
Bella: WHAT. WHY THE EFF DO I HAVE TO MARRY YOU, YOU MANWHORE?
Edward: Because that is the way we Cullens work and my family would honor our being together more if we married first. And because since I am the man of the relationship and you are the woman, you are supposed to listen to me and do whatever I say because I am a man.
Bella: I thought I was the man.
Twilight's 'Breaking Dawn.'
26👍 47👎
A fucking gay ass movie and book that only fucking little dumb ass teenage girls read and watch.
Tom: Did you see Twilight?
Jeff: No, it blows
42👍 83👎
Proof that sparkly things attract idiots.
Idiot/Twilight Fan: Ohh lala. ITS SPARKLY!
23👍 43👎
When a male Jacks off using glitter infused lotion.
not going out tonight man id rather be twilighting
5👍 6👎