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A woman's fart smells worse than a man's. Although this may sound difficult to believe it is absolutely true! Although women and men produce the same amount of flatulence, a study conducted by Dr. Michael D Levitt, a gastroenterologist working in Minneapolis, found that women's farts consistently contain significantly greater concentrations of hydrogen sulphide, so they are definitely smellier.
“Are you sure Malcolm isn’t a woman?”
“Fairly sure, why do you ask?”
“Well it’s because of fart fact 4.”
Facts without anything added to make them more pleasant or interesting.
Facts that are devoid of any emotions, the blatant irreversible truth.
Nobody asked you to spit cold hard facts in this chat. Calm down.
This is the very last one in the series but every single one of them is true! This one tells you that farting isn't rude or disgusting. It may seem that way because they usually smell bad, but it's just something a healthy human body does, a normal by-product of your body digesting food, so if you need to let one go, do it and if anyone objects fuck ‘em.
“Mikey let rip in class, teacher called him on it, so he explained fart Fact 14 to her and suggested if she was worried she should see her doctor. I nearly bust a gut trying not to laugh.”
Most people fart between 14 to 22 times each day, try counting them if you don’t believe it. So if someone tells you they don't fart, they're probably lying and are specialists in SBDs and are just trying to avoid being blamed for that nasty smell that made everyone’s eyes water.
“I just told Malcolm that he is well above average, but I don’t think he realised I was referring to fart fact 5.”
Noun
Fact Deprivation Disorder(FDD) is disorder commonly found among sheltered first world peoples, typically, but not exclusively, from ages 12-30. The disorder is characterized as having a world view so saturated by safe-space circle jerking, poorly researched statistics, confirmation bias, over-reliance on media, and over-used meaningless rhetoric, that it never occurs to them in the slightest that their entire world view is built upon fallacies and an utter lack of basic facts or truth.
Behaviors caused by FDD are often demonstrated in the form of horrifying lack of understanding any group characterized by hereditary traits that does not match their group, excessive use of the Fundamental Attribution Error, Illusions of Grandeur that cause them to feel that they can speak for entire sections of the populace based on only their own feelings, and an over-abundance of Victim Mentality and/or a Persecution Complex.
FDD is infrequently a precursor to actual mental health illnesses, such as complexes mentioned above, Mass Hysteria, Gender Dysphoria, and even full-blown Schizophrenia such as the famous case of Lena Kochman. However, in the process of deciphering FDD, those with the disorder are so unreasonable and entitled that it is incredibly difficult to distinguish them from mentally ill peoples that desperately need medical treatment or psychological therapy.
Continually using the same statistic over and over again instead of making a point, regardless of whether or not the statistic is accurate, and continually repeating the same rhetoric is a flag that the speaker may be suffering from Fact Deprivation Disorder. Another flag is outright hostility to anyone who enters their safe space while not meeting the standards the FDD suffers set for it.
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A saying coined by Paul G. Hewitt, author of Conceptual Physics, which describes the disregard of an established law or fact.
"Meteorologists try their best, but they are bucking the hard facts of chaos in nature."
Farts travel quite quickly at around 3.05 meters per second, which is roughly 7 miles per hour, which is faster than your average jogger who moves at about 6 miles per hour.
“If you are jogging and you fart will it overtake you?”
“Yes, Fart Fact 9!”