Random
Source Code
Random
When you're in a state of woe matched only by your state of arousal and there's only one thing you can do. Such as when you've been split up from a hottie for reasons beyond your - or their - control.
She's gone, but it could never be. A cry-wank's all that's left for me.
27👍 3👎
BBC TV show (yet unaired) about the masturbatory customs of Tyrannosaurus Sex, Orgasmosaurus Ferox and other Mezozoic critters.
Did you know that little Velociraptors got off by humping the leg of giant sauropods?
Did you know that Microraptor Zhaoianus had a feathered dork?
If you didn't, then watch Wanking With Dinosaurs!
86👍 15👎
Masturbation to the extreame. A male gets a throbbing erection and he is so horny that all he can do is jerk it off as hard and fast as he can to squirt his man juice out. Usually identified if you see a penis that is much much redder then the rest of the body. After a Wild Wank one finds that it takes a few days to be able to wank again, as your penis is sore and can only be used to pee.
I hadnt jerked off for 3 whole weeks while I was at my grandparent's house and had to share a room with grandpa. When I got home my dick had been hard for 5 whole days already and it took all my restraint to not wank off then and there at the dinner table with mum and dad. After dinner I ran to my room, locked the door and gave myself a wild wank. It only took 30 seconds to blow my man juice but I think I took 120 hard strokes in that time. My poor penis was sensitive for half a week. Had to wear boxers instead of briefs.
140👍 27👎
To masturbate having first gone to the trouble of donning a condom.
The idea being that the extra time, effort, financial investment and ceremony involved separate this from a base, brutal or "lower" wank - the ocassion suggested by wearing a condom would usually only arise in company, and more specifically for pentrative sex with a special other.
i wasn't going to see lisa for 4 days, and i had the time and felt like spoiling myself, so i dressed the old chap up and had a posh wank.
641👍 146👎
To masturbate furiously over the image of an ex-girlfriend. Typically ends with a bout of self-loathing and/or tears.
"Tom was feeling lonely so he logged on to facebook and treated himself to a wank of shame over a chick who had dumped him 10 years ago and was now happily married. And then he had a cry"
15👍 1👎
To masturbate yourself into unconsciousness - usually as a result of rejection, failure, sheer boredom or all of the above
Jack failed to pull at the club so he decided to go home and wank into oblivion...
15👍 1👎
When a person refuses to to sexy stuff to you, so you go on their facebook and wank to their photos
Person1: Let's go do sexy stuff!
Stuck-up Bitch: Hell no!
------2 Hours Pass------
Person1: (Fap,Fap,Fap)
------2 Hours Pass------
Good Friend: Unlucky with that girl earlier
Person1: I got a Revenge Wank
21👍 2👎