corporate mentality

Large-scale practice of committee mentality within a corporate entity, (see corporate personhood).

To my phone company: You reassigned this phone number to me 6 months after you took it away from the deadbeat who didn't pay his phone bill. Why can't you understand that it's no longer his phone number? Just because you can't find him, is no cause to harass me!

Another person to his phone company: Of course I received your message that the replacement for my broken phone is ready to pick up - just as soon as I got the replacement phone and checked for messages.

Me to the Yellow Pages publisher: Of course I wanted to be listed in the yellow pages under my business name. You offered me a listing in the Yellow Pages because I'm listed as a business in the white pages didn't you? Do you see anyone else listed in the Yellow Pages by their personal name?

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Corporate Communism

I coined this term in 2001 in personal writings. It was stolen by a popular msnbc commentator who asserted to have coined the phrase and he did not.

It is the Corporate Communism that leads our nation, not the people.

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corporate serfdom

When you work for a corporation that treats you no better than a serf in the Middle Ages, it is corporate serfdom.

My boss is a witch - I swear if I had cancer, I'd still have to work. It's corporate serfdom!

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corporate masturbation

the act of discussing business without actually saying ANYTHING, but embuing said corporate masturbator with an undeserved feeling of being of interest or utility to those present or his or her current employer

corporate masturbation can easilly be identified when any of the phrases below (but not limited to this list) are used in the context of discussing a business or business activities:

'going forward'
'restructure our asset-base'
'efficient through-flow model '
'KPI monitoring'
'increase the number of revenue streams'
'consolodating our holdings'
'business paradigm shift'
'stakeholders'
'daynamasism'
'strategic re-evaluation'

etc etc

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Corporate Comedy

Celebrity stars usually from Vine, Tiktok, or Youtube who produce mediocre comedy skits toward children on as many platforms as possible in order to generate income.

1: "Hey have you kept up with (insert viner here)?
2: "Oh yea they switched to youtube but are more active on tiktok. It's a great example of Corporate Comedy."
1: "not surprised"

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Corporate turrets

When someone sticks their foot in their mouth in a corporate setting/meeting.

Manager A says "The xyz sales contest is not worth the paper it is written on." Not realizing the current CEO sitting in the room got promoted on that idea. "I can't believe I said that, I have corporate turrets."

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Corporate Whoremonger

See politician.

girl: Ugh! How come every time the economy sucks, the stupid-ass corporations get bailed out? It's not fair!!

boy: Those corporate whoremongers over there at Washington must serve their masters and fuck the people.

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