blanket thief

A bad man who sneaks up in your business and loots your valuable baby blanket for his own nefarious purposes. Then he revels in his conquest of your tears, only darkness resides in a blanket thief's heart.

Sean STOLE my baby blanket, though he denies it, he is a blanket thief.

6👍 5👎

Blanket Monster

a. A person who hogs the blankets or otherwise raps them around themselves when in bed

b. A person who is constantly under the cover of a blanket (i.e. TheBlanketMonster)

c. A person who does not like to get out of bed

A.
Josh: "Jeez, I was cold all last night. My wife hogged the covers like they were her children."

Carl: "Sounds like she's a real Blanket Monster"

B.
Lorette: "Haha, you know TheBlanketMonster? It's like she lives under that comforter."

Tyler: "Too true, TheBlanketMonster is definitely a Blanket Monster"

C.
Mother #1: "Gosh, I never knew raising a teenage girl would be this hard. She absolutely refuses to get out of bed."

Mother #2: "You and me both, my Cindy only gets up when I threaten to not make her breakfast. Or as she puts it 'starve her'"

Mother #3: "looks like you've both got real Blanket Monsters on your hands."

7👍 6👎

Pig in the blanket

When you rip out a girls tongue, wrap it around your dick and start jerking off.

Her tonge was so long I had to get a pig in the blanket out of it.

11👍 13👎

Blanket Dick

One who walks around with a blanket on her head and corners people in laundry rooms in order to seduce them into letting her perform fellatio on them.

Did you get sucked by blanket dick yet? I heard she's got quite the bush.

8👍 8👎

Wet blanket

Tom stretch. The un-evolved form of "Dity Mop". Someone who is perpetually both greasy and emotionally smothering.

God I fucking hat that guy Tom Stretch. Who? Oh, you must mean Wet Blanket.

8👍 8👎

pigs in a blanket

This term is used when a man has sex with a woman's breasts. Also known as titty f*@k.

The man gave the woman pigs in a blanket when he put his penis in her breasts.

20👍 27👎

Temperature Blanket

A handmade blanket (usually crocheted or knit) where one row correlates to the temperature it was that day

The color of the row aligns with a range of temperatures so the temperature can be tracked throughout the year

Person 1: "That's a really big blanket you are making"
Person 2: "Yeah it is my 2023 temperature blanket so it is going to be 365 rows long"