When something is so surprisingly stupid, you can't even fathom a way to react.
...What the fuck... I don't even...
63๐ 6๐
A phrase commonly used by parents and teachers in arguments because they can't defend what they say.
Kid: "Why can't I do this?"
Parent: "DON'T ARGUE WITH ME!"
109๐ 13๐
Boss- I'm lowering your commission. You're making too much money.
Salesman - Don't park me. I quit.
Don't jerk the car is used when you're telling a driver to drive someone over
Mike: Yo don't jerk the car for that guy I hears he's an opp
if you dog the boys you will not be saved and you will not be invited to maccas runs with the boys. dogging the boys is technically death.
oi cunt don't dog the boys or we'll bash you behind the maccas
29๐ 2๐
1. A clever rhyming phrase used to discourage someone who spits when he or she talks from spitting in your face and an attempt to make him or her enunciate more clearly.
2. A simple way to remember what to do during sexual intercourse, especially if you don't have a condom. A reminder to inform your partner you are about to ejaculate before you actually do, giving him or her the warning he or she needs to prepare. Especially necessary during heterosexual intercourse in which a pregnancy is not desired.
1. Joe: "Sseven ssilver ssnakes ssat ssneakily, ssequesstered ssoldierss-"
Monica: "Dude! Say it don't spray it!"
2. Jacob: "Honey, I don't wanna knock you up, so how're we gonna do this?"
Mary: "Just remember, say it don't spray it. I need the warning so I can stop jiggling and you can pull out in time."
86๐ 10๐
The theory of Hot Chick Inverted Naval Vapor Intestinal Theory of Elimination
(HC INVITE)
Under the practice, beautiful women do not eliminate feces in the same manner as men. Rather, beautiful women possess a trait that is linked to beauty on chromosome 9. The trait grants beautiful women an inverted intestinal tract, such that the belly button (naval) of the beautiful women is the sole elimination medium, rather than the anus.
The waste matter passes through the inverted intestinal tract, where, as it approaches the naval, extremophilic enzymes target the waste and generate heat, thereby converting it from solid form to an invisible vapor. At the same time, additional enzymes act upon the transforming waste, such that it loses all scent.
The end result is that an invisible, odorless vapor is released through the naval and passes into the air around with absolutely no environmental or social consequences. This form of elimination is deemed most "noble", as it happens absolutely naturally and results in no disgusting expletives from men that otherwise would presume beautiful women poop.
On the other hand, unattractive females do not possess the linked gene on chromosome 9--as a result, they do not have inverted intestinal tracts, and such are forced to eliminate through the traditional "pooping" practice.
Random frat dude #1: Dude, that chick's so hot.
Random frat dude #2: I know bro, she definitely eliminates through HC INVITE!
Random frat dude #1: But girls don't poop!
Random frat dude #2: Dude, ya just don't understand.
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