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The morbidly obese man that breaks into houses every year on December 24th and eats all of the food in your house. If you ever see him in your house, run. Santa Claus will give out presents to kids that he finds attractive and the ugly ones get coal. The presents usually have trackers in them as he handmade them with his children slaves that he kidnapped, also known as “elves”
Sometimes you may find some very small elves in your house. Dispose of them immediately because they have cameras in them. Santa isn’t your friend. He’s a child predator.
*kid wakes up*
oh my goodness it’s santa claus and he is in my room
santa claus: ho ho ho get in my fabric sack
kid: *climbs into fabric sack*
santa claus: hahaha now you are my elf
kid: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
*the kid was forced to make toys until the end of time*
Most Known as *Hitler from Christmas* Santa Claus is a big fat dick elder, that sometimes acts kinda pedophile by eating his elf´s ass and pussy.
ELF - Heyooooo!!!! IT IS SANTA CLAUS EAT MY ASS SWOOOOWOOOO OUUWEEEEE.^
Santa - NEIN, GEHT AUF DIR BITCH!!!
A person that likes to commit crimes like breaking and entering. Also has diabetes from how many fucking cookies he eats.
Santa Claus is not real people.
A shit excuse for your parents to eat cookies and drink wine, also it's just your dad smooching your mother not an overweight fat old man cheating on his wife.
Child: is santa claus coming?
Dad and Mum: Oh yeah ;)
A large pedo that likes when little children sit on his lap and tell him what they want for christmas. He also usually watches little children to monitor their behaviour so he can alter their christmas presents.
Santa claus is coming to town...
He sees you when you're sleeping...
He knows when you're awake...
He knows if you've been bad or good...
He's a stalker for goodness sakes...
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Let's have a tall glass of Santa Gravy to celebrate the season
An unfortunate but extremely common misspelling of Santa Claus, a fat man who breaks into people's homes every December 24th, guzzles their milk, devours their cookies, and usually leaves presents under the tree -- though if your children behaved especially shittly earlier in the year, a lump of coal that's been uranated on will be deposited in their Christmas stocking instead of brightly-wrapped presents.
Santa usually enters people's homes via the fireplace chimney; though if the chimney's plugged up, the flue is closed, if a fire is still burning, or if the person lives in an apartment and has no chimney, he'll find some other method of entrance and egress -- such as by jimmying a window.
Santa Clause came down the chimney last night and left a huge pile of coal that smelled like piss! Wonder what the children did to piddle off the fat bastard so much?!?