hot water heater

What many people (even news anchors on well-respected TV news channels!) call a water heater.

You don't want to heat water that's already hot for Pete sakes!! It's proper to call it a 'water heater' or you can even call it a 'hot water tank' -- but never a 'hot water heater'.

{Latoya}: Gary, I think the hot water heater is busted; I can't get any hot water out of this faucet to do the dishes!

{Gary}: Latoya, we don't have a 'hot water heater' -- we might have a hot water cooler, a water heater, or a hot water tank, but no hot water heater! Which of those do you want me to check?

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voluntary loss of stool

When you have to leave a shit (I know, it's supposed to be take a shit, but in the immortal words of the late great comedian George Carlin, you don't take a shit, you leave a shit!), you tell whomever is nearby that you need to go and experience voluntary loss of stool.
This is the most gentle, curse-free way to say that you need to go and pinch a loaf.

{Paul}: Hold on a few minutes there George, I need to run and have voluntary loss of stool!
{George}: Ok, whatever Paul. :-/

broken

When referring to a pet cat or dog that's been "fixed", they're actually broken. I mean, think about it...when a pet has its cunt cut out or has its nads chopped off, it is no longer capable of doing something that it was rather easily able to before -- that is, make kittens or puppies!

Yeah, Nikki has been broken; she got spayed approx. nine years ago and can no longer have little baby kitties.

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polygrip test

What Butt-Head of TV's Beavis and Butt-Head calls a polygraph test aka. a lie detector test in the episode, "Liar! Liar!"

{Beavis}: What are they going to do to us?
{Butt-Head}: I think they're going to make us take one of those polygrip tests.

lamerz

How a lamer might spell the word, "lamers"

{Seen in the scroll text of an Abyss demo on the Commodore 64 computer in the late-1980s}:

A ? TO EVERYONE: ONLY A FAGGOT WOULD REPLACE THE "S" WITH THE "Z" .. EX. WARES AND WAREZ. LAMERS AND LAMERZ. WHAT IS YOUR GUY'S GAY INCEST WITH THE "Z" KEY?

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mic

The correct spelling of the abbreviation for the word, "microphone".
Many people spell it as, "mike" which is totally wrong.

Yo wassup homes? Will you please hand me the mic so I can do this here song?

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chocolate mouse

How some people pronounce the phrase, "chocolate mousse" {"mousse" should be pronounced as though it were spelled, "moose"}.

{Norm}: Awww motherfucker pussy cocksucker!!!
{Debbie:} What happened Norm?
{Norm}: I just nocked over this fucking chocolate mouse and now there's brown shit all over the floor!

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