illegitimate masturbating

1. what jesus is said to have condemned as the greatest sin to be commited as "it is wasting thy knuckle children into a sock only to be put into the bottom ov a hamper."

2. what is done on a daily basis in the white house

3. learning algebra

4. sharing files on frostwire

i gotta go do some illegitimate masturbating

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Masturbation Candy

What it is one thinks about when they masturbate.

If she wants me to be her masturbation candy I'm fine with that.

You're the perfect masturbation candy for me.

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Intellectual Masturbation

speaking for the sole pleasure of listening to yourself and showing off your supposed intellectual and linguistic capacities.

John continually goes on about the merits of Times New Roman. He does so in a completely self-absorbed, disinterested tone.

John- (weary tone) "You simply can't comprehend the intrinsic value of Times New Roman font to our society and the way we decipher the world. There is evidently a plethora of ways it has effected our daily experiences."

Tim- "John, do cease your intellectual masturbation. It bores me to an umpteenth degree. My finely tuned ears were not designed for your incessant blabber."

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Hater Masturbator

A person that hates and masturbates. They are a loser that is easily jealous and envious of people better than them. They will never amount to anything and never had. Nobody likes them and they always do envy attacks that fail. They are background characters and are useless. They have mental and anger issues, and get mad very easily.

That Hater Masturbator is hating on the best person ever!

kamikaze masturbate

A game where you call your parents and start masturbating, the catch is that you have to finish before they arrive

Yesterday I played kamikaze masturbate but I lost

retaliatory masturbation

The act of masturbating over somebody who annoys you, in retaliation. Could be used as an act of revenge or just as an excuse to masturbate over them.

Man 1: 'Hey dude, that really really really really hot girl unfriended me on Facebook.'
Man 2: 'What are you gonna do about it mate?'
Man 1: 'Chillax mate, I already got her back through retaliatory masturbation.'

moral masturbation

the self-indulgent display of morality

Don't make a public speech scolding her for wearing a Pocahontas Halloween costume. We don't want to hear your moral masturbation.