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A jet of diarrhea that comes out at such a velocity that, upon hitting the water in the toilet bowl, causes water and/or liquid fecal matter to splash back up onto the buttocks or anus. This stream from the bowl often resembles a bidet, but only serves to make a mess rather than clean.
"Sorry I used all your toilet paper, but I had a lot to clean up after the brown bidet."
A lawn sprinkler used for personal hygiene.
Chris: Rocky, why are you all wet?
Rocky: Dude, while runnning I really had to go, went in the woods, had no TP, so I used that sprinkler as a yard bidet.
Cleaning one's nether regions by dipping said regions in a stream of running water, such as a creek or a storm drain on a rainy day.
"Dude, I had to take a dump, but couldn't find any TP, so I went out to the creek and did a sluice bidet."
When a girl squirts while on her period.
Dude, "that girl totally trashed my sheets last night, with a rusty bidet ."
When you are on the toilet taking a dump, and a turd falls out and splashes piss water all over your anus.
After a long night at the bar, Mark went into it's restroom and was splashed by the Louisiana bidet.
When you're on a boat using the bathroom, and the waves are so fierce that the water from the toilet comes up and gets in your butthole.
God, the seas were so rough this morning that I got a Nantucket Bidet on the way to Figawi.
When you are taking a shit and the water splashes back at your brown eye with the aim of a heat seeking missile.
John had to go home and shower after his morning dump turned into a devils bidet.