Backdoor Baptist

A Southern girl who won't have vaginal sex, but will have anal sex, before marriage.

Self explanatory, isn't it?

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jean-baptiste

A French bouquet, much french very paris.

Oh my god he is very Jean-Baptiste

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John the Baptist

Charismatic New Testament bible prophet. Named John at birth son of Zacharias and Elisabeth; he baptized Jesus Christ.

Baptized people to repentance with water at the Jordan river and was beheaded by King Herod Antipas.

John the Baptist ate locusts and wild honey.

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Landover Baptist

A Christian fundamentalist website for "true Christians". The "unsaved are unwelcome."

Has strong opinions against Jews, Democrats, Catholics, Muslims, Hindus, Buddhists, Liberals, poor people, homosexuals, television, blacks, the French, pagans, atheists, and Cat Stevens.

Believes Pixar is an evil propaganda machine controlled by homosexuals.

The church makes most of its profits from website hits and selling "What would Jesus do?" thongs.

Landover Baptist: Where the Worthwhile Worship. Unsaved Unwelcome.

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Baptist door

The back door of a liquor store in the Bible Belt open to the public. Baptists typically use this door to buy booze without being sighted by members of their congregation/family members

Thank God the Corner Store changed their back door to a Baptist door. I was tired of driving to the ghetto to buy booze

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Bedside Baptist

Also known as Pillow Presbyterian, this church is one that you attend in your dreams. Members of Bedside Baptist may be labeled as heathens by members of other denominations.

Crap, dude, I overslept this morning so I ended up going to Bedside Baptist.

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Landover Baptist

God's favorite church where True Christians (Baptists) congregate. Landover Baptist is located in Freehold, Iowa and boasts a congregation of 157,000 members and 128 pastors. It preaches the Bible in it's entirety and has no problem telling people they are going to Hell. They pretty much hate everyone who isn't a White Anglo-Saxon Baptist, including, but not limited to Cathylicks, Homosexurals, Jews, Mooslims, Mormons, Jehovah's Witnesses, Methodists, Epyskipals, Pentacostals, Blacks, Asians, and anyone else who is unsaved. The church is home to Pastor Deacon Fred, Betty Bowers, Sister Taffy, and Judy O Christian.

Landover Baptist is an incredibly well done parody site that mocks ultra-right wing fundamentalist protestants.

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