dire camel

A girl with an incredibly extreme case of camel toe, during which the tightness of the crotchal region of her pants is so intense that it somehow forms two separate folds, causing the appearance of a camel's hoof with three toes.

(Jess notices a girl with the aforementioned characteristics)
Jess: OMG LOOK AT THAT DIRE CAMEL!
Robert: DIRE CAAMEELL!!
(Does the Dire camel dance)

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Dire Straits

"To Dire Strait someone"

Getting rid of dates gone boring or irritating 'friends' by playing air guitar on minute long solos from overrated songs like 'Romeo and Juliet' or 'Telegraph Road'.

"She was going on and on about her mother so in the end I had to Dire Strait her..."

"I simply used the Dire Straits Method and away he was..."

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Dire Straits

A homophobic band that uses the word 'faggot' to demean gay people.

Dire Straits are a homophobic bunch of rednecks.

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were dire bitch wife

A person of either gender who is exceptionally tall, angry, and controlling.
The person needn't be female, though this trait is most common in people of the double-x chromasome persuasion.

Patty: You know, girlfriends who don't let you go to opening week at Gabby's grow up to be were dire bitch wives...
Jordan: Yeah, dude.

A: Wow...Vee-dub is going to be such a were dire bitch wife if she ever gets married. Damn-sauce...
B: Oh my gosh, I know...

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dog poop pee uh oh *dire h as*

fart

Person 1: "dog poop pee uh oh *dire h as*"
Person 2: "fart"

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Dire rear

Noun/phrase. A traumatising bowel movement often characterised by a watery stool consistency and difficulty or discomfort in execution. Alternate spelling of 'diarrhoea'.

"I've got a dire rear today; I was in the toilet for an hour and a half"

dire

adjective used to describe hall canteen food

A: what’s for lunch today ?
B: oh god, it’s broccoli bhajis again
A: wtf why are we paying all this money when the food is so dire