Rural Dictionary

cardiac closer

Cardiac Closer: a sales rep who meets his quota commitment just before, or at the deadline due to lack of preparation. The mental and physical state of the person resembles palpitating behaviors that could lead to full system overload. Coined by Hustle and Flow author Javier Lopez in his book: "Witnessing The Pressure Syndrome."

John was behind on hitting his sales quota for the month, and with two days left went into a frenzy of last minute sales attempts to achieve his commission. His blood pressure went through the roof, he was irritated, sweaty and down right mean. John is one of those cardiac closers.

by Lawrencelot May 29, 2011

Stone Closer

Clutch Performer, coming from behind to finish 1st in a competition.

Jim's a Stone Closer, his fantasy football team always trails early then scores alot of points late to lead him to victory. .

by Stonecloser January 11, 2023

Comment closer

That person who always says the last thing in a comment on the internet, usually because what they have said is too stupid to comment, or what they have said officially killed the conversation, and we have to start all the fuck over. Thanks a lot.

Facebook Commenter: Well, thats why I think women should stay in the kitchen.

Page Owner: Thanks for being my comment closer today. Next thing you should do is to headbutt a bullet.

by cee-em-kay March 23, 2011

9👍 11👎

Eye Closer

A novel concept developed by Akash and Ilya.
The word refers to drinking prior to going to sleep.

It exempts you from being labeled as an alcoholic due to the current CAGE criteria:
C - have you ever felt you should cut down on your drinking?
A - do others annoy you by criticizing your drinking?
G - do you feel guilty about your drinking?
E - do you have the need for an eye opener?

You ready for our eye closer?

by gman12458811 November 15, 2010

1👍 1👎