Store Bought

A special way of refering to an adopted freak.

I was homemade, but my sister's a store bought.

4👍 5👎

bought a car

Being convinced or coerced into doing something that you really wanted to do anyway, but were protesting for the sake of appearances. Consider the car salesman.

"He talked me into having sex on the first date! I mean, I really did want to, but I didn't want him to think I was a slut or anything."
"So you're saying you bought a car."

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bought the monkey

The act of masturbating until you're penis falls off.

Oh damn, Andeny bought the monkey! That must've hurt.

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Store-bought titties

A female's surgically augmented breasts.

Charlene sure likes showing off her store-bought titties.

Daddy Bought It Mobile

A small, affordable, sporty automobile. Common examples include the Mazda Miata, Chrysler PT Cruiser and Ford Mustang; in especially affluent neighborhoods, the Audi TT roadster and BMW Z3 Coupe are popular selections. The typical driver of a Daddy Bought It Mobile will be under 20 years old, female, with bleached blonde hair. As one can expect from the phrase, the driver of the car is rarely, if ever, the buyer. The buyer is the driver's father, an aging yuppie who only wants the best for his daughter (and has spoiled her completely rotten in the process). The Daddy Bought It Mobile is easily confused with the Mid-Life Crisis Mobile; the easiest way to tell the two cars apart is that the Daddy Bought It Mobile will likely have something shiny dangling from the rear-view mirror (Mardi Gras beads are the prevalent choice).

Dude, look at Stephanie driving her new Daddy Bought It Mobile. I know she's trying to look cool, but she's been a total prick ever since she got it.

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Disney bought Marvel

Proof of the impending apocalypse that will eradicate all existence on Earth.

Guy 1: Holy crap Disney bought marvel
Guy 2: What the'll ruin it like they did to Mickey Mouse and Miley Cyrus's relationship with her dad!
Guy 1: ITS THE END OF THE WORLD QUICK CALL CNN WARN EVERYONE!!!!!!

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Shoulda bought a Honda

When Pentecostals can’t speak in tongues, but want the other church folks to think they’ve been baptized by the Holy Spirit.

Pentecostal 1: You know, if you can’t speak in tongues, you’re really a second-class Christian.
Pentecostal 2: *eyes closed, hands raised, as they fall backwards to the floor* Shoulda bought a Honda!