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1. What used to be a great channel, with shows like Kim Possible, House of Mouse, Recess, and Doug. It wasn't long until these shows ended up getting shit-cancelled and now we're stuck with mind-numbing crap such as Austin & Allie, Dog With a Blog, and A.N.T. Farm.
2. The only two good shows nowadays on Disney Channel are Gravity Falls and Wander over Yonder, which both ended up getting ass-hauled to Disney XD, something I don't have and don't care to waste my money on. Let's see how long it'll take before Disney Channel screws themselves up even more.
Some random friend: Hey, have you seen that new Disney show Wander over Yonder?
Me: Yeah, it's one of my favorites shows on Disney Channel along with Gravity Falls. Problem is both of those shows got moved to Disney XD, a channel which I don't have.
Why must everyone at Disney be such a douchebag?
The crappiest channel out there. Was supposed to be about classic Disney cartoons but instead started making all these crappy shows about teenagers with some retarded plot and slapping the Disney label on them so parents will let their kids watch.
And of course the only kids that watch that shit are eleven-year-old girls who try to act like they're sixteen. Of course all the characters on every single one of their shows is a teenager, just so 11-year-olds everywhere can watch and say, "I watch Lizzie McGuire and Hannah Montana and That's So Raven on the Disney Channel, so that makes me grown-up!" Every show on that channel is geared towards eleven-and-under-year-old kids but try to make it look like they're geared towards older kids.
Let me also say that the actors and actresses CANNOT ACT, yet they are possibly the biggest stars in Hollywood right now. Why, you might ask? Because of the gullible eleven-year-old girls who tune in every night to watch because it makes them feel older.
"On an all-new Hannah Montana, Miley's dad gives her a brand-new credit card! But OF COURSE she goes overboard shopping! What's a tween to do?!"
"Dude, if I have to hear my little sister sing that Hannah Montana shit one more time, I swear I'm gonna BLOW MY FUCKING BRAINS OUT!!!"
"Disney Channel Writer #1: "You know, I feel like even though we've already got Lizzie McGuire, Phil of the Future, the Suite Life of Zack and Cody, Kim Possible, and That's So Raven, we STILL don't have enough teen shows!!"
Disney Channel Writer #2: "I KNOW! Let's make a TV show about a tween (excuse me, teen) who is a regular girl during the day but--bear with me on this--is a POP STAR AT NIGHT!!!!!!!"
Disney Channel Writer #1: "OH MY GOD! I'm really glad you remembered our rule--EVERY central character on EVERY Disney Channel show HAS to be a teenage girl! I'm so proud of you for remembering! This is such a great idea!"
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A great channel BEFORE IT GOT CONTAMINATED AND DESTROYED BY THE NEW STUPID TV SHOWS ETC: Thats So Raven, Hannah Montana, Cory In The House.... WTF!!! Disney is suppose to be about quality animated movies and shows in the good old days, Now they are getting greedy and just making bullshitty movies to earn money. The actors and actresses pretend to like their fans when in fact they don't give a shit and want to make $$$$$$$$. They dont show a single non disney commercial, wth is up with that you cant be that greedy.....
Person 1: I use to love Disney when I was a kid but now it just sucks with all the "actors and actresses" who have no skill.
Person 2: What about ZAC EFRON!!!!
Person 1: Are you shitting me????
Message: Don't watch disney, its not really worth your time, your better off hanging off with real friends and doing realistic things rather than thinking about other peoples impossible lives(etc living in the white house, being a pop star yet a student.... Come on that's not possible seriously...)
Disney channel sucks now don't waste your time. period end of discussion
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The worst television channel in the world. Here is how to Disney writers make a new television show:
1. instead of using your creativity use the simple plot line: Teenager(yes teenager) looks normal but has a secret : She is actually a (insert profession, mythical creature, or other thing).
2. Put some humorless, cheesy jokes into the script. Don't worry about them being funny, just add the background laughing
3. Cast the most prettiest, skinniest girl you can find. Acting talent not required because all they need to do is act funny. Singing talent can be needed, but more than likely you should just edit their voice
4. Shoot the show, but don't worry about reshooting. Plus: just make cardboard sets rather than actually spend money going to a place
5. ADVERTISE ADVERTISE ADVERTISE! One major thing to do is make the audience think that the main characteris like everybody else, but she isn't
6. Then make as much products as you can. Pencils, dolls(a must), bed-sheets, anything you can get your hands on. If your show gets a lot of viewers then you can make movies(should do a musical because Musicals are easy to write and easy to market)
7. Repeat cycle for next show
*On the next episode of Lucy and the Country rednecks on Disney channel*
Disney actress: Oh my jizzle, Todd has a pig. No wonder he was all hoggish
Studio audience: Hahahahhahahahahahhawhahahhahahahahh
Teen viewer: Why the hell was funny?
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The WORST channel on tv.People who likes that channel are often 8-15 years old and is very annoying.Hannah Montana is the worst show on disney channel.
Annoyingdisneyfan1:OMG did u see that new episode of zack and cody on disney channel?
Annoyingdisneyfan2:Yeah it waz so funny!!!1!!!
boy:You people should watch real stuff on tv.
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this channel is probably the worst channel ever to be brodcasted. At first the shows were about the cartoons they made but now it totally suck ass. The shows are stupid, but the plots and puns are stupider. This effin retarted channel turns young girls into mindless retards and boys into little fruit cups. They have horrible actors that they use in every single series or movies. If you ever have to watch this show, the universe will collapse into itself and all of humanity will succumb to a horrible death!
(The only reason we hate this channel is because our sisters watch it all the time!)
Boy 1: Did you ever notice that all the unanimated disney channel movies go right to DVD?
Boy 2: Thats because they suck!
Boy 3 (fruit cup): no they don't!!!!!!!
Boy 1: ummmm yeah they do.
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The go-to place for little rich girls who want to be famous, and in-the-closet pre-pubescent boys that are trying to convince people that they are straight. These children are usually featured in Children's TV Shows for about five years, and then have suddenly turned into either extreme sluts, or junkies (occasionally both!). About a year after that, these poor lost souls have had horrible publicity and/or suicidal thoughts. This is the ongoing cycle of the Disney Channel (a.k.a. the passageway to hell). The ending result is a 20-25 year old with fake hair, unhealthy weight, and ongoing hate from the social media and Shane Dawson.
Late 90's kid: I miss Miley Cyrus, The Jonas Brothers, and Demi Lovato. What happened to them?
21st Century Kid: Have you been living under a rock? Miley Cyrus has a horrible haircut and is married to Liam Hemsworth, The Jo-Bros are all broke and married with only one song out (Pom Poms) which is only about girl's asses, and Demi Lovato has been in rehab for cutting. Seriously, how could you have missed all of this?
Late 90's Kid: C'mon, all Disney Channel stars can't be THAT bad. What about Vanessa Hudgens?
21st Century Kid: Got kicked off of Disney Channel for posting naked pictures online, and had sex with James Franco in Spring Breakers.
Late 90's Kid: So I guess that the Disney Channel really IS just a workshop where good kids go bad and bratty kids are glorified.
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