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A revolutionary new device from Apple, Inc, filling the niche between a computer and a smartphone. Perfect for surfing pornography during important meetings while still looking like you are on the cutting edge of technology.
Cope: "Is that the new 3G iPad?"
Panik: "it sure is. Go over those synergies again? I have something to view on this thing."
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A device created by Apple that features all the convenience of watching porn on an iPod touch, with the big screen of a laptop.
Dude 1: "Is that Backdoor Sluts III!?"
Dude 2: "You bet it is!"
Dude 1: "Wow, I sure am glad you spent $500 on that iPad! Now I can clearly watch your mobile porn from the reflection on the French doors!!!"
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Apple's newest iProduct
The iPad is the worlds most expensive menstrual product. you get one per package that can only be used once for the amazing price of $499
Available at Apple stores and ladies restrooms worldwide
Girl: Fuck Kotex, I got the Apple iPad
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iPad was a prototype for a feminine hygiene product that purported to digitize a woman's menstruation cycle and store it on a password-protected Web server.1 In the trademark application submitted by the inventor, Dahkness, the iPad was described as a "a light-weight, leak-proof device that, for the first time, will allow women to perform the acrobatics illustrated in television ads for tampons and sanitary napkins, rather than just aspire to them. No longer will women feel frustrated watching commercial actresses leap over fire hydrants, attempt gymnastics routines, and randomly flail their legs around to illustrate the point that their menstrual protection doesn't leak. With iPad, a woman's cycle continues as normal, it just doesn't happen down there."2
Dahkness, who claims the iPad as his only invention, became embroiled in controversy over the device when early testers reported quitting their jobs, breaking up with their significant others and sending angry texts to friends in the days surrounding the "upload period."3 Testers also reported finding Dahkness creepy.4 At an emotional press conference in 2001, Dahkness responded to a growing chorus of skeptics, who were demanding more disclosure about the device, by saying he couldn't "be expected to invent something that would prevent women from being women."5 Though the FDA was more than happy to approve the device without knowing anything about it except its name, which a spokesperson reportedly called "catchy,"6 a Bush Administration official blocked the passage of the device in 2002, saying it was "1984-ish" and "sounded a hell of a lot like pro-choice to me."7
Dahkness retired in 2009 when Apple Computer, Inc. bought the rights to the name iPad for an undisclosed six-figure sum.8 See iPad(2).
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An iPod touch for seniors
My grandmother bought an iPad because she couldn't read the screen of an iPod touch
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An oversized iPhone used by placing it inside an oversized vaginas during that time of month.
Roanna: I just bought an iPad.
Alexis: Wow you must have a stretched out pussy. Have you been fucking massive cocks lately?
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It's a series of overpriced tablets from Apple that are essentially larger versions of iPod Touchs, claimed as innovative from Apple and it's legion of casuals.
Got an iPad! Stupid to take pictures with, too bulky to listen to your songs, 4:3 ratio makes it unbearable to watch movies on, and has same OS as Apple's iPod Touch and iPhone.