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something every girl had done at some point
i love to masturbate with my glow-in-the-dark vibrator
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1.) What you do when your girlfriend is not at home.
2.) The reason why people buy playboys.
3.) The reason why old people are having more heart attacks.
4.) The reason why birth-rate decreased by 60% in the last 20 years.
5.) What 30% of the world population is doing now.
The old man had several heart attacks due to his recent masturbations. He had too much excitement
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To sexually exite yourself until you reach a climax. With males it involves using their hand to 'jack off', that is holding their dicks and moving their hand back and forth. Females usually use their fingers to rub around and enter the vaginal area.
"His girlfriend was miles away and he was very loyal so whenever he got horny he masturbated to satiate his thirst for sexual activity"
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to increase the surface temperature of your ship's main cannon with rapid linear motion
I masturbated and sunk your battleship
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To rub your penis until reaching the climax of sexual exitement, in which you ejaculate.
"Man, masturbation is the meaning of life"
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Here's more: Again, to grease the rod, to squash the bug, to shake hands with your penis, to squeeze the eclair, to fuck oneself, to awaken the slumbering giant, to flick the dick, to practice ju-dick-su, to train oneself in kung-penis, to play one's oboe, to rob the sperm bank, as well as take out a loan from one's sperm bank, to make your elephant laugh so hard that he squirts milk through his trunk, to shoot the shit, to cockadoodledoo, to make your worm sneeze, to visit the fountain of youth, to take a trip to Mexico with only one pair of underwear, to spray the butter, to spray the Cool-Whip, to get your "smack" on, to pump the hydrant, to evacuate one's testicles, to question the Mauve Avenger, to do the math, to calculate pi, to pleasure oneself manually, to practice stick-shift, to open the stairway to heaven, to save the whale, to squirt the mayonnaise, to attempt to reach orgasm in solitude (although not always), to climb/hike up pleasure mountain,to slap the Puerto Rican, to pour the salad dressing, to give an angel its wing, to kill a mockingbird. And there are still more to come (pun intended)!
Ah, masturbation....
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To play with your penis and jack off because you don't have any bitches to have sex with. In some religions masturbating is a sin and God will be pissed off you if you masturbate.
Guy 1:Dude I caught our friend doing something with himself on his bed.
Guy 2: Yeah, he has no bitches so he needs to masturbate sometimes to get pee out of his erect boner.
Guy 1: Man, I feel sorry for him.
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