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To puddle: the art of successfully changing the topic or object of attention.
Note: It helps if the thing or event that you are puddling with is actually happening. Puddling is also easily confused with A.D.D. When really it is A.D.D.’s distant cousin… I.A.D.D. (Intentional Attention Deficit Disorder).
Synonymous with: to distract, to avoid, to elude, to escape, to evade
“Where were you last night Geoff?”
“Mom! The cat is caught in the garbage disposal!”
“So Gwen, how are things with ‘boy’?
“Wow, that amputee is doing really well in the Triathlon…”
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The act of premature elimination occurring up to 35 paces from a wall mounted urinal or floor mounted toilet. The act can only be defined as puddling if access to urinal or toilet is unobstructed. Premature elimination resulting from an interruption such as a cell phone call or a hallway inquiry (or altercation) is not puddling.
The first written document of puddling dates back to the Egyptian city of Alexandria, where a Mesopotamian scholar, visiting the construction site of the city’s historic library, encountered a merchant handing out honey candy samples to slave laborers. The scholar had skipped breakfast and approached the merchant for some honey candy. The merchant seemed distracted and would not give a straight answer—he focused his eyes on a hole in the ground some distance away. Quite suddenly, he handed the scholar his tray of honey candies and walked briskly towards the hole. He stopped a short distance from the hole and stood erect. After a moment, his shoulders slumped a bit and he smiled, walking confidently back to the scholar and taking back his tray of honey candy. "Have you ever puddled?" The merchant asked the scholar. "Really, you must."
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The collective noun for a gathering of dudes engaged in random douchebaggery. The term refers to the anal drip that sometimes manifests from the use of a douchebag.
The puddle of douchebags lurking at the bar made it impossible to get a damn drink last night.
In that puddle of douchebags, he's the vaseline-covered tip.
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The act of driving through large puddles of rainwater in cars, creating massive sprays of water. Filming these acts is a common practice, as is hosting said videos on YouTube. Other common practices include spraying people nearby the puddles, spraying cars that are nearby, and driving through puddles while the passengers stick their heads out the windows.
"Dude, do you want to go puddling tonight? It's supposed to rain. Last time, we sprayed about 15 feet high."
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The process by which a shot of (mostly) hard alcohol is mixed in the mouth with another alcohol to mask the taste of the shot.
Martin was supposed to do a forfeit shot, but he got punched because his practice of puddling was deemed too cowardly.
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Being absolutely wasted. Drinking for keeps!!!
look at this guy right here stumbling around." "That guy is fucking puddled!" "Yeah he definitely knows how to party!
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