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(1) a person who speaks of sex abstractly, in terms of moonbeams and sunsets, rather than pussy and cock; (2) someone who projects the misogynistic history of porn onto all erotic imagery; (3) a person incapable of celebrating the physical beauty of human bodies; (4) an unattractive person feigning sexual restraint, scholarly disinterest, and spiritual enlightenment in order to appear more soulful and attractive.
1) If that starry New Age Puritan sends me another photoshopped sunrise with a Rumi quote I'll burst into rainbows. "If you are irritated by every rub, how will your mirror be polished?" That goes for you too! (2) I thought she was a New Age Puritan so I tried seducing her with sunflowers and poetry, even adopting this mangy three-legged cat from animal rescue -- but as far as I can tell all she wants is sex because she refers to my kitten as "The Zombie" and encourages it to hunt nightingales; (3) That New Age Puritan would be terrified to know Rumi had erections. All the time. Horrible painful ones. (4) Whenever I see a solitary woman in an interesting setting I whip out my camera and try to find an angle - never know if you'll score an image that will take off among the New Age Puritans.
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a not yet existing political party Noah Hirsch is trying to form
The Puritan Party of America is more conservative than the Constitution and Tea Parties.
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A Booby Puritan is someone who religious insists that babies should by fed breast milk instead of baby formula. Some more extreme Booby Puratans may expand this idea to replacing all milk in a child’s diet with their own breast milk, for example cookies.
Karen, the Booby Puritan, is feeding her 8 year old child breast milk. Frankly, this is disgusting, she should of stopped.
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Someone who detests the alteration of authored works, regardless of the reasoning. An individual with an inherent belief that the author's original intent should always be respected and preserved.
Amazon recently released a new Lord of the Ring series, which they heavily altered from Tolkein's work to make it representative of 'modern' audiences, as a literary puritan, Tolkein would be turning in his grave.
Really dull arty alternative band from England. Their second album Hidden is beyond boring with almost no melody or decent tunes in sight. Yet, this album was critically acclaimed by delusional critics, dreadful stuff.
Friend 1: "Hey man, you heard that new These New Puritans album?"
Friend 2: "Yeah, its awful shite isn't it?"
Friend 1: "Absolutely, let us never talk about it again"
An internet rule dictating that those who condemn and demonize fan service for normal, sane people often define themselves as queer or as LGBTQ "allies".
Such individuals will often engage in gaslighting tactics, equating physically attractive female characters to pornography or maintain that ugly or masculine-looking female characters are better because of "realism", even in otherwise fantastical settings and despite the escapist nature of fiction. This is a bizarro mirror image of conservative Christian puritanism that such people often found themselves opposed to in previous decades.
"OMG, what do you care what Mary Jane Watson looks like? Shut up, your porn-brained incel!"
"You have pronouns and pride flags in your twitter bio and your likes are full of futa. The Iron Law of Bizarro Queer Puritanism remains undefeated."