Teaspoon Rule

A theorem used to determine if one has crapped himself. The rule is as follows: if a person farts, and something comes out (also known as a shart), if the resultant mass adds up to less to a teaspoon. If its adds up to more, than one has crapped his pants.

1:
P1: So I thought I crapped myself yesterday, but luckily it didn’t count under the teaspoon rule.

2.
“If you fart, and something comes out, and the stuff is less than a teaspoon, it counts as a fart. But, if it’s more than a teaspoon, then congratulations, you just s*** yourself.”

-Hannes Van Dahl, drummer for Sabaton

tallahassee teaspoon

a sexual maneuver requiring the largest specimen available in which the large involvee sits on the smaller persons face as if to engage in a 69, but instad of bending to 69 the sitter lifts the legs of the layer to orally please them

I got Bertha to give pull of the Tallahassee Teaspoon.