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The highest level of douchebaggage in the heirarchy of plain douchebag, total douchebag, and captain douchebag. This person has attained a zen-like oneness with being a complete and total fucknut and has been consistant with it for years, if not decades. They are the yoda of the douchebag kingdom.
Often in a position of power, they study new ways and methods of being a complete douchebag and impose their will upon those below them. They can be easily identified in the wild via office parties, as the one to give a speech that strokes themselves and uses horrible jokes to humiliate employees. Ironically, this species does not get along with its own, as they tend to terrorize lower level douchebags, such as the Captain Douchebags.
Admiral douchebag is going to fuck us with our raises again this year.
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A person that thinks he's cool while everybody around them thinks of him as a fool. Since nobody wants to be seen around him, he typically hangs out with others of his kind and they can often be found roaming the streets on longboards.
Snapback Douchebags are most commonly found wearing snapback hats and sweaters for sport teams they don't even watch. They can also be seen riding longboards and yelling obnoxiously at each other.
Brendan: Look at bilal wearing, he's wearing the same sweater as always and that stupid hat.
Brad: Yeah, What a Snapback Douchebag
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Observing the pairing rituals of a group of douchebags in their natural surroundings like Frat Parties or other related testosterone-charged habitats.
Looks like douchebags in the mist over there. Please call campus police, date rape is inevitable.
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Gateway Douchebag
-noun phrase
1. a vaguely distasteful man who pursues young women, and persuades the women that this behavior is not only acceptable, but desirable in choice of mates.
2. a man whose behavior with woman colors their early perception about dating, usually in the negative.
3. a "Jason Levy"
Jeff: She Annie is 18. Her taste in men hasn’t been established. Creepier and creepier dudes will start thinking of her as an option, and it all starts with Vaughn. He’s a gateway douchebag.
-from (NBC Comedy Show) "Community"
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Any kid who "thinks," he's a badass, and can can kick anyones ass becuase he took 1 MMA class at his gym.
These kids threaten to fight someone, but will almost always backoff If the other person agrees to fight.
Or by mistake they threaten the wrong person, and end up getting thier ass kicked by a real badass.
MMA Douchebag: What are you looking at?
Real Badass: Nothing.
MMA Douchebag: Damn right nothing, Ill kick your ass.
Real Badass: If you even touche me, Im grabbing the crowbar out of the bed of my truck and beating your ass up and down the street.
MMA Douchebag: Hey!...I'm sorry man, I dont want any trouble.
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A starbucks douchebag is an egotistical dick wad usually seen in coffee shops that have wifi service they usually wear glasses (even though their vision is perfectly fine) and they also wear berets and turtlenecks and usually have a mac book. they usually order some complex shit like "1 grande mocha frappuccino with 1/3 goats milk 1/3 soy milk and 1/3 skim milk" the regular day to day activities that a starbucks douchebag will partake in are as follows:
-Writing some insignificant novel that nobody will ever want to read
-Speaking about people in the 3rd person because of their huge sense of superiority and entitlement
-sitting in starbucks pretending that they actually matter
PLEASE NOTE BEING A STARBUCKS DOUCHEBAG IS A SERIOUS AILMENT AND CAN POTENTIALLY LEAD YOU TO BECOMING A PUBLIC MASTURBATOR IN 20 YEARS WHEN YOU REALIZE WHAT KIND OF A FAILURE YOU ARE. IF YOU OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW IS A STARBUCKS DOUCHEBAG DO EVERYONE A FAVOR AND SHOVE A KNIFE DOWN THEIR THROAT
Why are there so many starbucks douchebags here? AH FUCK THIS im going back to tim hortons
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A Hollywood Douchebag (or a Hollywood for short) is someone who trys way too hard to be cool and fails.
Someone who uses their cool possesions eg. a cool car, new shoes, new expensive clothes to try to look cool but ends up looking like a jackass.
eg. That guy's a hollywood.
eg. You're a hollywood douchebag.
eg.Chuck Norris is not a Hollywood Douchebag.
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