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Ted’s Law

The law that, in generality and absent mitigating circumstances or context, “the fact that you have to say ‘they’re not that bad’ means that they are that bad.”

First published after extensive research into the sexually available women of Boston, MA in the 2012 Seth MacFarlane film Ted, spoken by the eponymous Ted, whom MacFarlane also voiced.

Ted:
Look, all I'm saying is that Boston women are, on the whole, a paler, uglier sort than women from the elsewheres of life.

John:
That's bullshit. What about Lori? She's hot.

Ted:
No, Lori's from Pennsylvania. That's not a Boston girl.

John:
They're not that bad.

Ted:
See, the fact that you have to say "they're not that bad" means that they are that bad.

Guy watching the movie: So that’s where Ted’s Law comes from!

by me.....really May 7, 2021


Cousin Ted

Cousin Ted is just your cousin, and there is nothing wrong with him. Sure, he may be an extremely skinny creature with pale white skin and hundreds of tiny sharp teeth that only shows up at your window after he prowls around the outside of your house at night but I assure you nothing is wrong with him. He's just your good old cousin Ted who has with five small black beady eyes and an unstoppable urge to scoop out your kidneys after you fall asleep from his foul black viscous "sleep inducing saliva", but don't worry. He's just your cousin Ted, and he may or may not make you watch him eat your kidneys as you slowly die from his attack. Again, there is nothing wrong with "cousin Ted".

Little girl: mom where did timmy go?

Her mom: Cousin Ted was feeling rather peckish.

by Mr. Shog December 10, 2022


tedding

Taking care of an inanimate object or creature (like a teddy bear).

They were tedding their stuffed animals.

by Djasa December 27, 2023


Tedding

When two people are getting on really well. It can be a friendship, or a romance about to blossom.

Derived from the idea of two cute teddy bears getting on well with each other.

Hey look, Sarah and Tom are tedding!

by Charl13 s3ndr0wsk1 June 3, 2022


ted fisher

A very sexy man that every girl want to sleep with and maybe oral

Ted Fisher can call me up any time.

by Stankysocks October 21, 2015


Thanks for coming to my TED Talk

Originally, this is what people used to say after giving a long, nonprofit speech or lecture devoted to spreading ideas, usually in the form of powerful talks given at the main TED (technology, entertainment and design) annual event or one of its many satellite events around the world.

By 2015, This phrase then got broken down and used whenever people finished typing up an extensively long social media post.

Then, after like, 2018, this phrase got even more deteriorated (mainly by Gen Z or Gen X trying to sound like Gen Z) to the point that people now say it after saying a sentence, or, even worse, a sentence fragment because they think they’re being funny.

My boss kinda pisses me off. Thanks for coming to my TED Talk LOL I’m hilarious, time to go on social media for the next 7 hours.

by TheAlwaysCorrect1 January 7, 2023


Thanks for coming to my TED talk

It's used when you say something important but that not many people consider or even think about.

thomas sharpe from crimson peak is one of tom hiddleston’s best characters please appreciate him and thanks for coming to my ted talk

by Linient May 31, 2018