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a term in the underlying ideas of kool keith which levels of heroism are inverse of deployments(real world and training), joint suffering shared with fellow comrads, length of enlistment and type of MOS that collectively mold a United States Marine into either a humble amphibous warthog or the flipside, a big mouthed, small minded, wearing your blues out on the town after discharge, falsified acts of anything other than being an empty uniform, human form of swine. Essentially, the more you train, deploy, and find yourself with the most admirable group of misfits ever devised, the GRUNTS, the less likely you'll be a hero. However, less you train, deploy and find yourself in weak POG specialties, the more likely you'll be a hero and have over a dozen bumperstickers to prove it.
Not everyone understands the hero theory, but the ones that do smile.
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The bean theory is the idea that the chrome bean sculpture in Chicago was built by an unknown artist but when he was finished he was trapped in the bean by locals because he was a tourist. The only way to save him is to take his place. All you have to do is find the secret door to get in. Or use a hammer.
Sturgis: hey man what are you learning about in your black history class.
Katrina: you know, the basics like the bean theory and slavery and stuff.
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Conspiracy theories are usually bogus theories dreamt up by wide-eyed madmen in order to explain the unexplainable, make possible the impossible and dupe the dupes.
The most widespread conspiracy theory - so far - of the early part of the 21-st century was the one concerning the existence or non-existence of WMD(Weapons of Mass Destruction) in Iraq and the dread intent of Iraq to use these weapons to launch a devastating attack on Israel , the UK and possibly Cyprus.
This theory was first floated in Washington by a group of cranks calling themselves neo-conservatives and quickly spread like a contagion throughout most of the UK and the US.
However , most other countries of the world were immune to this contagion and treated it with skepticism.
Driven on by belief in their theory the devotees of it in the UK and US went on to attack and occupy Iraq in an attempt to eradicate these WMD.
However these weapons turned out to be nothing more than a brain-fever which had no more credibility or basis in fact than a Donald Rumsfeld speech.
The idea that the invasion of Iraq was about oil is no more than a conspiracy-theory. (Still said by some even after 8.8 billion dollars of post-invasion Iraqi oil revenues were
reported missing in a report by US General Stuart Bowen to the US congress in January 2005. )
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The Fantabulary Theory states that if you want to do it, it's bad for you.
It conceived it while half asleep in the morning, yearning to slip back into my dream, but obligated to attend school.
If the option sounds fantabulous to you, it's actually an awful choice.
Examples of Fantabulary Theory situations:
You want a slab of chocolate cake. Unfortunately, chocolate cake will make you fat.
You want to drink soda. Water's so much better for you.
You want to punch Lucas in the face. But that will lead to suspension from school, firing from a job, lawsuits, and various other negative effects.
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The theory that which all clouds can look like any object the viewer wants to see, due to all of the random ridges and displacements throughout them.
Person A. "Look johnny! That cloud looks like a sand castle!"
Person B. "No it doesn't! It looks like a tree!"
Person A. "Whatever, that's just The Theory of Cloudtivity"
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the theory that anything can be made funnier simply by adding monkeys
We're going to run this add campaign completely on the simian theory. Monkeys, monkeys, monkeys people!
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The theory that says that any gay man will respond instantly to one single snap involuntarily. One can use this as a gay detector.
If they don't respond to the snap, they must not be gay.
-Do you think that guy standing right there is gay?
-I don't know... Let's find out.
*Snaps fingers once*
Guy: What?
The snap theory.
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