N: An extremely gay rainbow flag wearing, maple leaf smoking individual from the great north. not to be confused for a Calgary Flames fan in any way, which is a whole different type of homo! Most likely wears dorky glasses and uses excessive amounts of hair products. typically has 30 to 40 percent body fat.
Usually responds to faggot or PAUL!
(person 1) "wow that dude looks gay!"
(person 2) "yup hes defiantly a Canada Flamer!"
(person 1) " I agree, hey PAUL, you homo!"
41๐ 8๐
1. Mostly consists of Quebec.
2.
"Theres no Canada like French Canada, its the best Canada in the land. the other canada is hardly canada, if you lived here for a day you' d understand.
Theres no Canada like French Canada, its the best canada in the land, the other Canada, is a bullshit canada, if you lived here for a day you'd understand.
you'd understand
i think you'd understand.
I went to Quebec over the weekend.
262๐ 74๐
What you should do in case of an unfortunate incident where no one is really to blame. By far the answer to everything.
Jojo: My TV broke again!
Chris: Those damn Canadians!
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Krisite: Dangit, my "Blame Canada" sign smeared!
Lisa: Stupid Canadians!
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Roofus: My electricity bill's higher than ever!
Juliet: Those worthless eskimos are leaking our energy from the border!
101๐ 25๐
Canada's History is a depraved sexual act first performed around 1898 in the lawless Yukon territory by "Meaty" Georges Gagnon, a French-Canadian prospector during the Klondike Gold Rush. Georges performed the act on many willing and unwilling men, women, children, and domesticated animals (the rumors of this act being performed on moose and kodiak bears are unconfirmed). The act was called a "Dark mar on Canada's History" by local politicians, and "the only interesting thing in Canada's History" by American papers sensationalizing the Klondike Gold Rush.
The act itself was said to originally consist of Georges approaching with moose antlers strapped to his head. Georges (known for having meaty lumberjack hands) would then proceed to fist the orifice of his victim. Georges would proceed to insert his penis into the fist within the orifice and masturbate to ejaculation.
Georges used "the only lubrication worthy of a true Canadian Gold Man", maple syrup. He would chug the syrup, while cursing the Queen and lavishly praising Gold.
Modernly, the act has changed to honor hockey legend, Wayne Gretzky (many considered it source of his greatness). A proper rendition of Canada's History now requires that the victim be bent over, face resting in the cup, which is filled to the brim with maple syrup.
The act risks asphyxiation and is so dangerous that Canadian Healthcare System uses a form called a 1206c(h), which is to be filled out in the case of injuries resulting from the act.
Roommate 1: Geez, eh, you were loud last night with that girl. What were you doing in there, Canadas History?
Roommate 2: No, but not for a lack of trying, eh. We were out of maple syrup.
Roommate 1: Fine Canadians we are eh? Forgive us Georges.
329๐ 96๐
A great way to make a quick racist joke.
"Boot, you goin to see Cpt. Canadia, Aye?" Said Racist Canada Dude
16๐ 2๐
The Emperor of Canada is a misogynitic wife-killing, leader relatively unconcerned with the goings on inside of the violent riotous matriarchal lands of what is known of as "Canada".
It is said that he was the son of the last Emperor who built a castle in what is falsely known of as Ottawa or "Otterwa", this last Emperor being COMPLETELY oblivious and unknown to the rest of "Canada". It was said the previous Emperor was suffering from some form of schizophrenic disorder, and and may or may not have committed various violent crimes against women, starting with matricide. Noone has bothered to trace his lineage, and it is unknown who his father or grandparents were, or where he really came from.
The public finally became aware of their Emperor when he declared war on what is falsely known of as the Northwest Territories. At this time he called for all able bodied men to take up arms, to which the women of "Canada" picked up their own arms in outrage over the blatant disregard for their practice of prohibiting men from picking up weapons or moving independently.
The Emporer was, it is said intensly shocked at the ferocious matriarchal force, having had no idea of the nature of the society which he ruled. He had to retreat ironically into the very lands he had declared war on.
He was allowed a small house there and the women of the southerm area of "Canada" were content that he remain out of their lands if indeed they didn't forget about him all together for the next two months, life in "Canada" being a constant struggle to maintain wealth, status, and viability.
The people in what is known of as the Northwest Territories were largely still entirely unaware of the presence of the Emperor, except vague rumors that had it that it was merely a lame rabid dog that escaped from a medical testing facility, that probably was shot, or feeding off of people in the woods.
It was during the Emperors two month excile to what is known of as the Northwest Territories, that he began planning for a more involved government, he took, and murdered two wives during this period, and was chased out of five towns and near fatally wounded. Twice it was thought that the "defective man", as he was soon called, must have just been eaten by a rabid dog in the woods, as he would lie low for several days after being chased from a town.
It was at the end of the two months that he was approached by the Clown Death Squad who claimed to be his most loyal citizens, and promised to help him back into his castle, which was currently being used as a printing press, in between fires, and a medical testing facility trying to find a cure for rabies.
During the Emperor's excile, several rabies infected dogs escaped and disappeared, and it was discovered, and then forgotten, the evidence destroyed in a fire, that many people in "Canada" had an immunity to rabies due to frequent and long term exposure. Some were also symptomless carriers of the disease. To prevent symptoms, it was said you should drink whiskey constantly, then again it was always said to be wise to drink whiskey constantly. It was law to drink whiskey constantly.
The Emperor with the help of the Clown Death Squad took over his castle again, and an uneasy truce ensued between the emperor and the people.
Who is The Emperor of Canada? Canada doesn't have an Emperor!!!!!
251๐ 75๐
A depraved sex act which involves inserting the stanley cup in to a womens ass. Then soaking your penis in maple syrup. Sticking the maple syrup up her vagina. then takeing your maple syrup soaked penis and comencing to throat fuck the women all while humming "oh canada"
Thanks stephen colbert
guy 1: you know that Rachel girl?
Guy 2: yeah.
Guy 1: dude i gave her the complete canadas history last night!
531๐ 175๐