The state where in winter you need to have seventeen layers or you'll pass out and wear twenty-seven pairs of socks or your toes will commit suicide. In spring you'll need to have at least twenty-five umbrellas because everyone else there won't what to buy that many so they'll steal yours. Summer you either need a heavy winter coat or sports bra/no shirt needed. The state bird is a mosquito and can be the size of a fricking golf ball when full of blood. In may by lakes the sky is bug-color from all the may flies.
Mom: How was Vacation?
John:I hated Minnesota.
"Hey dude, Do you know what Minnesota is ?"
"The fuck is that? Is that a real place?"
"I don't fucking know."
The 4th coldest state in the United States. They brag about being the coldest but aren’t even in the top 3.
Person 1: Hey I hear he’s from Minnesota!
Person 2: That hot ass desert? NO WAY!!!!!!
The Land of 10,000 Lakes. Minnesota is a Mid-Western state known for snow, lakes, and the Vikings. Minnesota has a population of 5,707,000 as of 2021. Minnesota’s economy is roughly comparable to the country of Hong Kong. With 86,935.83 Square Miles of land, Minnesota is the 12th largest state, ahead of Utah but smaller than Michigan. In presidential elections, Minnesota is a lean democratic state. It holds the active longest streak of voting democratic in presidential elections; it hasn’t been won by the GOP since Richard Nixon in 1972.
Minnesota is the Land of 10,000 Lakes.
Boring state full of Vikings, Gophers and Timberwolves. If it weren’t for Outshined no one would know it existed. Lots of Minnesotans move out of state, often times to Alaska (as they’re already acclimated to the cold and at least there are cool animals in Alaska).
I’m lookin’ California, but I’m feelin’ Minnesota.
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Land of 10,000 lakes. Wisconsin claims that too, shut the fuck up your ‘lakes’, are just ponds.
Mall of America!! Biggest mall in America , we even have an amusement park inside. We don’t have sales tax!
Party city. Every college in Minnesota always has that one kid who’s parents funds his alcohol addiction. That’s why parties are lit.
Close to Canada. Just Incase trump gets elected again, it’s only a 6 hour road trip to new civilization!
Duluth. Ever been to Bentleyville around Christmas time? Well you should go. Amazing light show.
Best student sections known to man kind. (only the suburbs south of St. Paul, but we don’t mention it)
Road construction never ends. Ever been on 494? I’ll bet you my will that there’s never road construction on that damn interstate.
Best Buy headquarters! My dad works there, the most amazing place to work. For real.
Target. I work at target, so I know all of the secrets. Just kidding there’s not really any. But the best grocery store/place to shop by far.
Lake Minnetonka. It was fun until everyone got deathly ill from that lake this summer, and had diarrhea. Other than that, it’s a Great Lake.
Last but not least, everyone is overall nice. Goodbyes take forever. Everyone is your friend until one of you declares it is not a friendship. People care about you. At 4 way stops, everyone is having a seizure trying to let the person who stopped before them go. We actually drive awesome. Most importantly, we are mostly democrat! #fucktrump
I went to visit family in Minnesota, I could really see myself living there.