Smelly Queef Trumpet

a deragatory term for a woman's private region, and/or a woman herself, whose vagina (1) smells of moldy fish and (2) queefs so much that a group of said vaginas could replace the trumpet section of a standard orchestra.

ex girlfriends, girls from your friends one-night stand hook-up stories, girls from stories from kids you really don't consider your friends and you know are just making up stories that they hook up with girls when in real life they are probably still virgins.

*Note: Juno and Lindsay Lohan (before her crack stage) are IN NO WAY Smelly Queef Trumpets.

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Rusty Trumpet

When a girl has diarrhea, and shits into a condom then freezes it overnight and the next day use it as a dildo.

Girl 1: "I got a new sex toy wanna see?"

Girl 2: "Sure"
*goes into freezer*
Girl 2: "What is that?"

Girl 1: "A rusty trumpet"

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Sounding the Seventh Trumpet

The excellent debut album by Avenged Sevenfold, released in 2001 by Good Life Records and re-released by Hopeless Records the next year. This is the only album to feature original bassist Dameon Ash, featured on both versions. The original also doesn't feature lead guitarist Synyster Gates while the re-release does. The most noted track from the album is "Warmness on the Soul". This album also contains the most screaming vocals by M. Shadows.

Mark is a huge sevenfold fan, but unfortunatly he lacks a copy of Sounding the Seventh Trumpet.

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Playing the Porcelain Trumpet

When a person farts loudly before pooing. The noise is amplified by the hollow bowl of the toilet.

After a long night competitive beer drinking, i awoke to my roomate playing the porcelain trumpet.

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Playing the angel's trumpet

Getting high by smoking weed

-Why is John's eyes so red? He's acting weird.
-Oh, him? He's playing the angel's trumpet.

Trumpet note time

The amount of time estimated by an experienced trumpet player of how long they could last playing music containing certain notes.

For most people, Middle Gs (second open fingered lip position) are usually easiest and can be played for absolutely ages, however, top Gs (fifth open fingered lip position) are fairly difficult to tone anyway, so the time is strongly decreaced to about one hour or so. Bottom Gs (bottom 1 and 2 fingered lip position) help get the lips tighter again after not having played for a while (eg. a break in a rehersal).

man one- "hey. what's your top F trumpet note time?"
man two- "oh, about an hour or something"
man one- "cool. mine's about the same too"

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broken his trumpet

Inebriated beyond all capability, utterly trashed, yet still talking, usually nonsense.

"What the hell is Fred chuntering on about?"
"Ignore him, he's broken his trumpet."

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