but it has Windows Vista!

Quite possibly the worst way to describe your computer's screen.

Originates from GameFAQs' Random Insanity board, where a Staples employee tells the story of a moronic woman who understands nothing about computers.

Kloo Shanko: "Ma'am, the operating system doesn't affect the size of the screen."
Customer: "But it has Windows Vista!"
Kloo Shanko: "Like I said, that doesn't affect anything, ma'am."

45👍 8👎

Eagle has Landed

part of speech: idiom

Originally used by Neil Armstrong when the first man-made craft (the "Eagle") landed on the moon, now used to indicate the completion of a "mission objective".

1. Neil Armstrong: Houston, the Eagle has landed.

2. Criminal #1: Are you inside?
Criminal #2: The Eagle has landed.

3. Jim: So, did you sleep with Allison yet?
Tim: Dude, the Eagle has landed.

418👍 115👎

Ke$ha $peak

A language popularized by the pop singer Ke$ha. It consists of speaking Huttese ( the language spoken by Jabba the Hutt, and the rest of his race) with a valley girl accent.

Girl: " Oh em gee, Wah kah nah tu nah ki?"
Guy 1: " What the hell did she just say?"
Guy 2: " I don't know. I don't understand Ke$ha $peak"

68👍 15👎

Spock has a beard

Days when nothing seems to go right, as if you have had a transporter accident and beamed into a parallel universe where everything is harsher, more vile, and more difficult. Just as you begin to wonder why you seem to be so out of sync with things, you notice that Spock has a beard.

You are headed to work by the route you take every day, but the buses are running off schedule, so suddenly you are running late. Then you find that your usual coffee spot got burned down in the riots the night before. You get to the train to find that your usual train has broken down, so there are almost double the passengers on the next one, and you have to stand all the way. Finally, you get to work to find your boss is pissed that you missed the morning meeting that you didn't get the notice for yesterday anyway. And so it goes all day. Finally, you get home, crack a beer, switch on the tube, and only old re-runs of Star Trek are playing, but you notice that Spock has a beard.

12👍 1👎

hoo-ha-ing

the act of locking arms, moving side to side, and saying ho-ha. atfter ho-ha-ing, usually you will run out of a tunnel.

1.did you guys see clemson football hoo-ha-ing?
2. ohio state football is great at hoo-ha-ing.

Bro has no enemies

“Bro has no enemies” is a phrase that can be used to describe a person who will forgive someone for doing the most disrespectful shit imaginable

Guy 1 “Did you hear Jhon forgave Blake after he slept with his sister?!”

Guy 2 “bro has no enemies”

kirby has a gun

run

OH NO KIRBY HAS A GUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!