Bar Mitzvah Monkey

A "Bar Mitzvah Monkey" is a prostitute who has been hired for a Bar Mitzvah. They are normally hired by friends of the male who the ceremony is for. These women are pre-paid to show up at the ceremony and fornicate with the male who will be journeying into adulthood. It is common for these women to pick up extra money by also selling to guests of the Bar Mitzvah. Not as commonly, these prostitutes may be hired for Bat Mitzvah.

"I'll be hiring a Bar Mitzvah monkey for Eli's ceremony this weekend."

7👍 2👎

albino monkey cock

a white furry gargantuan cock that is so good and furry and huge that it can go up your ass out your mouth and in your pussy all at the same time (it’s my favorite thing to do)

furry raper “HOLY FUCKING SHIT DAWG have your seen cocklover69’s albino monkey cock!? i fucking love it so very much to shove up my piss whole🤤”

7👍 3👎

one star monkey

Is a person who is a forum troll and regardless of whats posted will rate the post the lowest possible ie one star or if possible a negitive amount.

Hey look at the ratings looks like the one star monkey visited us.

7👍 2👎

e-mail monkey

A disease workers obtain (usually ones confined in cubicles) when they are over-eager to recieve an important e-mail. This is common among computer engineers, programmers, and bosses who do nothing.

NOTE: the e-mail monkey is a disease, but is very literal because a monkey will climb on top of your back

(WARNING) It will press the e-mail key with its foot

The only way to cure e-mail monkey is to deactivate your interneuter yourself and go cold turkey (which literally climbs on your back)

(from Dilbert : WHEN DID IGNORANCE BECOME A POINT OF VIEW? by Scott Adams)

Asok: I have an e-mail monkey on my back, but I can quit whenever I want

Asok: I don't need to check it every minute. I can resist!

Asok: But Look! the stupid monkey hit my keyboard with his foot

7👍 2👎

corporate ass monkey

The terrible result of an experiment involving the cross breeding of a buttmonkey and a corporate monkey. Often spreads deadly diseases in the form of corporate jargon, smoke blowing, and complex acronyms.

Take your profit growth and shove it up your ass you corporate ass monkey.

40👍 23👎

skunk-monkey

aka butt-monkey, a person who can shave his butt and walk backwards and noone would know the difference

The guy who stole my toilet is a butt-monkey/skunk monkey

3👍 22👎

Monkey Love

An action or the result of an action that is mildly amusing but mostly useless.

"We need to do some monkey love here to make this work correctly."

3👍 22👎