Epic Suicide

The greatest way someone can die.

Either...
1) Jumping off a historical landmark.

or

2) Drowning in 2 inch deep water.

Last night, Shaun was found dead with his head submerged in a bucket of 2 inch deep water. Now THAT was an epic suicide!

23👍 4👎

Poker suicide

Going all in with a lousy hand just to end the poker night.

"He went in with a 7/2?"
"Yeah, it was poker suicide, he has to work in the morning."

19👍 3👎

suicide sex

When you’re so depressed that you both decide to have a suicide pact by having multiple orgasms until you die via exhaustion. The autopsy is a hoot

Did you hear about John and his girlfriend? Yea the doctor said they committed suicide sex

19👍 3👎

Swag suicide

To destroy years' and years' worth of hard-earned swag with an unforgivably swagless act.

Dude #1: Dag, Kev used to be the MAN before that day he came to school with a jheri curl

Dude #2: Yeah, talk about swag suicide.

19👍 3👎

post-suicidal

A status of depression so deep you no longer wish to die. As far as you're concerned, you're already dead.

This might actually be the case if you're post-suicidal by proxy of actually having committed suicide.

Ellesime: Should we put you on suicide watch? You always seem so depressed.

Jonaleth: Nah. I'm not suicidal. It'd take more effort than I'm worth to kill myself. I'm just a hollow, dead thing.

Jonaleth no longer has the will to live, but he also does not have the will to die, instead he considers himself "already dead", having lost his Elven immortality. He is post-suicidal.
(Characters from Baldur's Gate II)

17👍 2👎

suicide turd

A large turd generally filled with corn or other hard substances and is large in diameter, sometimes looping around the toilet bowl. Causing great pain and may require 3 to 4 flushes

1st guy: you've been in there for an hour and a half
2nd guy: Got any band aids ?
1st guy: why?
2nd guy: I just had a suicide turd?

15👍 2👎

Sexual Suicide

death by extreme sex. often occurs when taking on a.. bigger* challenge than one is prepared for; mainly affects the females.

Tay: OMG, I thought I was about to commit sexual suicide last night.
Nay: That big, huh?

16👍 2👎