Couche Tard

(Noun). The perfect phonetic contraction of "cock-sucking, douche-bag retard" used to describe only the most insufferable examples of self-righteous, holier-than-thou, alpha-male bullshit.

1: "In a shameless attempt to impress 'the Talent', the Couche Tard waxed quixotic about the recipe for braised endives his mother picked up in the south of France to the effect of rage and nausea."
2: "The authors of definitions 3 and 4 (above) are total Couche Tards."

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Human Couch

A derogatory term used to insinuate that a person is extremely obese with fat rolls that if lifted like the cushions of a couch, you would most certainly find items like the remote control, change, dog toys, potato chips, crumbs, etc.

They had to bring in a fork lift the get the human couch out of his apartment.

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couche tard

An extremely dumb or annoying person; can be shortened to simply "couche".

Stop being a couche tard!
You're such a couche.

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Couch Weed

Weed that falls into the couch, either in a bag or not, and is found sometime after it feel into the couch.

Dude! I found some couch weed!

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effing couch

When a n00b tries to call you a fucking douche, but is too chicken to actually say fucking, nor good enough with a keyboard to spell douche right. Or even close.

OMG you are such an effing couch.

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couch barnical

a person whom invades ones home or is invited in and has only the interest of laying on their couch for endless hours

Damn Greg is such a couch barnical.

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Torn Couch

Slang for a overweight womans vagina. The resemblence of a fat womans vagina to a couch with its stuffing hanging out is incredible.

Julie was so excited her torn couch was soaked.

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